If you want three reviews for one request, you're at the right place. Patch, Azrael and myself (Jhoi) are the three reviewers at your disposal. Requesting here will result in three reviews for your piece of work. We request that you only post one literary work per request, thank you.
JHOI
Spoiler
I'm a harsh critic and I always speak my mind. I won't pussy-foot around anything and will dissect your work like a butcher who gleefully stole some poor surgeon's scalpel. I will hack and maul your piece apart, peeling the epidermis off the muscle and the muscle off the bone until I can suck out the marrow and drink through your ulna like a straw.
Okay, enough with the creepy metaphor. I can be right, but I'm often wrong. I like to read, and I'm well read. I enjoy helping others, especially if it means they have to learn the hard way.
If I haven't scared you off by now, feel free to request a review from me and receive a dripping organ in response. I kid.
I would not like to review poetry as poetic techniques make my eyes bleed. I enjoy fan-fiction if I know the series. Primarily I like to read fantasy, science fiction and romance. Teen flick makes me feel as if I've been drenched in acid, but if it's not so cliché that I survive the horrific burns, I may read it.
When requesting a review, I require you to give me a link to your work and promise me that you'll put my review to good use. There's nothing that disappoints me more than wasting my time slicing you a nice piece of my brain, and that delicacy being thrown up or stored at the back of the fridge with last week's pasta.
Yours truly,
jhoijhoi
Okay, enough with the creepy metaphor. I can be right, but I'm often wrong. I like to read, and I'm well read. I enjoy helping others, especially if it means they have to learn the hard way.
If I haven't scared you off by now, feel free to request a review from me and receive a dripping organ in response. I kid.
I would not like to review poetry as poetic techniques make my eyes bleed. I enjoy fan-fiction if I know the series. Primarily I like to read fantasy, science fiction and romance. Teen flick makes me feel as if I've been drenched in acid, but if it's not so cliché that I survive the horrific burns, I may read it.
When requesting a review, I require you to give me a link to your work and promise me that you'll put my review to good use. There's nothing that disappoints me more than wasting my time slicing you a nice piece of my brain, and that delicacy being thrown up or stored at the back of the fridge with last week's pasta.
Yours truly,
jhoijhoi
AZRAEL
Spoiler
Hi there, I’m jhoi’s younger (and, if we’re being honest, probably more sadistic) sister.
If you’re expecting to be slowly vivisected by her, please anticipate faster, less refined, brutal and yet still delightfully aching torture from me. Don’t be afraid, it’ll hurt you more than me.
Like my sibling, I enjoy fantasy, science fiction and, if it isn’t painful, romance on the occasion. I can barely handle teen flicks and if it’s some sort of Twilight brethren, please refrain from making me look at it. If you do post it to be reviewed, I may not be so kind as to restrain the fully fledged anger I have at hand.
Have A Nice Day,
Azrael Linx.
If you’re expecting to be slowly vivisected by her, please anticipate faster, less refined, brutal and yet still delightfully aching torture from me. Don’t be afraid, it’ll hurt you more than me.
Like my sibling, I enjoy fantasy, science fiction and, if it isn’t painful, romance on the occasion. I can barely handle teen flicks and if it’s some sort of Twilight brethren, please refrain from making me look at it. If you do post it to be reviewed, I may not be so kind as to restrain the fully fledged anger I have at hand.
Have A Nice Day,
Azrael Linx.
PATCH
Spoiler
Howdy, I'm Patch. I've been writing for nearly ten years, but really I've only started to learn how to write properly in the last few, and quite a lot has been learnt at that. I've come to understand a lot more about characterization, story structure, pacing, why characters are good and interesting or not and many other things.
Tell me which of the following ways you would like to be reviewed.
Light
I'll point out the things I liked about your story, maybe ask a question or two about the direction. I'll make an effort to point out any inconsistencies or worrying flaws. Light reviews, for lack of a better term, are soft reviews. They're not going to be very critical (constructive or otherwise).
Medium
My standard review style. I'll talk to you about the pacing and the room for development in your characters. I'll ask about the direction of the story and maybe say where I think you're going with it. I'll point out any moments where a character is maybe crossing into that worrying territory or 'mary sue' or where I think I've seen a gap in logic (a good guy doing something blatantly wrong but everyone acting like its okay etc).
Harsh
Harsh reviews are something else. Only request if you really seek improvement. I will actively seek out things that are wrong with your story, deconstructing them to the best of my ability. I'll tell you where I believe you need to improve, but I will also praise you where you do well. I'll once again share my ideas on where I think your story is going and try to be as constructive as I can be in my advice. If your work is good, a harsh review should do no more than point out any mistakes a writer might make just by being too involved in the story and missing that outside perspective, something that can happen to anyone.
Tell me which of the following ways you would like to be reviewed.
Light
I'll point out the things I liked about your story, maybe ask a question or two about the direction. I'll make an effort to point out any inconsistencies or worrying flaws. Light reviews, for lack of a better term, are soft reviews. They're not going to be very critical (constructive or otherwise).
Medium
My standard review style. I'll talk to you about the pacing and the room for development in your characters. I'll ask about the direction of the story and maybe say where I think you're going with it. I'll point out any moments where a character is maybe crossing into that worrying territory or 'mary sue' or where I think I've seen a gap in logic (a good guy doing something blatantly wrong but everyone acting like its okay etc).
Harsh
Harsh reviews are something else. Only request if you really seek improvement. I will actively seek out things that are wrong with your story, deconstructing them to the best of my ability. I'll tell you where I believe you need to improve, but I will also praise you where you do well. I'll once again share my ideas on where I think your story is going and try to be as constructive as I can be in my advice. If your work is good, a harsh review should do no more than point out any mistakes a writer might make just by being too involved in the story and missing that outside perspective, something that can happen to anyone.
TL;DR
There are three of us, which means when you request a review, you will receive three. You must provide a working link to your piece and follow whatever instructions each of us have given you. It is appreciated if you can reply to our reviews and utilise our feedback to improve your writing. Please never request more than one review per post.
