I slip my headphones in and put my running shoes on, blasting the loudest Three Days Grace song I can find. I tell Alyx where we're going and lead Rayah out, holding the door for her.
I'm never what I like I'm double sided And I just can't hide I kind of like it When I make you cry 'Cause I'm twisted up, twisted up Inside
I nod and follow, cranking up Cobra Starship. I sing along to it as I run.
You were a problem child Been grounded your whole life So now you runnin' wild Playin' with them good girls No that ain't your style. You think you're hot sh*t And ooh I love it I love it yeah, yeah
I'm used to the path, used to run in it when I was little, and Take a deep breath.
All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie-dust!
I want to close my eyes and drown out the world, all my thoughts, all my worries, with the song that plays, but keep running instead. The next song comes on and I stop after it hits the chorus, taking my head in my hands as I close my eyes. The voice from the dream rings around in my head, the words mixing with that of the song, and everything I tried to push back floods my mind instead.
When you go Would you even turn to say "I don't love you Like I did Yesterday"
I just drop where I stand, letting things take their course.
I'm never what I like I'm double sided And I just can't hide I kind of like it When I make you cry 'Cause I'm twisted up, twisted up Inside
Rayah crouches next to me and asks me a question. I open my eyes and pause my music, letting the silence of the world heal the damage the thoughts had done.
"Fine," I lie, "I just need to think. Go ahead. I'll meet up with you later."
I'm never what I like I'm double sided And I just can't hide I kind of like it When I make you cry 'Cause I'm twisted up, twisted up Inside