How Come?

How Come? A Song of a Black Boy in 1953

How come my skin is brown?
And how come his is white?
How come of I disrespect him,
He wants to start a fight?

How come when I walk to school,
They laugh because I don't have a ride?
How come I'm mistreated at Ida's Diner?
And they toot their noses with pride?

How come Jesus died for us all,
And we just can't get along?
How come my skin is brown?
And that's what makes me sing this song.

I wrote this poem AGES ago..I personally don't think it's good, but if you could tell me what you think, I'd be glad to hear.

This is interesting and has good intentions. However I do feel that the rhyme scheme is a bit forced, and the repetition of the rhetorical question does tire quickly. It feels like you wrote it when you were much younger. Maybe its time to give it a re-write as it does have a lot of potential.

the last line "and thats what makes me sing this song" sounds
a bit weird but apart from that i really like it! i agree w Myriadne,
maybe u shud try editing it & see what happens!!

I think this poem is OK - it obviously has good intentions and the concept behind it is a good one, with a solid basis of emotion and great potential for poetic interpretation! That said, however, I, too, feel that the rhyme scheme is a bit forced, and the rhetorical questions dont flow very well. If you rewrote it, keeping the same ideas but rearranging the rhyme scheme (or even changing it to free verse) I reckon it could turn out great. Definitely seems like an early poem. Lots of potential though! I cant wait to see what you make of it.

Hi there!

I think this poem has a lot of questions that everyone might be thinking about for racism. I too wonder why people treat eachother differently because they don't have the same colored skin. It confuses me! I really like how you wrote the poem. The stanzas are in good shape, in the poem flows smoothly. I really like this poem! Awesome job and keep it up!

- gleek456 <3

I'm sorry in advance for the short comment.

First thing- I liked the message- but you could have done so much better in the poem writing.
I think you could write more than 3 stanzas.

Also- I don't mind religious, but if you're writing about a thing like the black man's oppression- you shouldn't involve jesus christ in the subject.

As I said- It's short.

Keep writing,
SubjectBlue

Hi there!

I really like this poem. I don't know why, but I really like reading things about when blacks and whites weren't equal. Don't get me wrong, I'm not racist. I just feel like we need to learn from the past and what better way to do that than revisit it? I don't like the fact that there was racism in the United States, but it happened.

Anyway, this is a good poem. It rhymed well and had a definite rhythm to it. You put a lot of emotion into this and your imagery was good as well.

Overall I really enjoyed it. Keep writing!

Different, the first word I thought of when I started reading this piece was different. I do, however disagree with you; I truly loved this piece of work. My only major complaint, it was too short. I wanted to know more, see more, and most importantly feel more.

How come my skin is brown?
And how come his is white?

Right from the start I could see an African American boy watching, no, studying a white boy with nothing but big eyes and curiosity. It picked the reader up and physically placed them in the setting of this piece. Well done, I personally try for hours to do what these first to lines just did.

How come of I disrespect him,

I don't know if someone picked this out yet or not, but I think you were trying to type if instead of of.

And they toot their noses with pride?

This is probably the fifth review I have done where I discuss the ability of word choice and word placement to make or break a piece. The word toot, for me, is very creative, but I think it draws too much attention away from the piece as a whole, or at least that verse. You have the reader seeing a boy not understand why kids laugh at him every day and then all of a sudden our eyes double back to the curious word “toot” that we are not sure if we read correctly or not. This is a case where I think creative word choice, in this place and time of this piece, isn’t necessarily needed, due to its over ability to drag some focus away from the powerful imagery the reader is experiencing.

I have already stated how the last paragraph has so much power, drawing the reader to the edge of their seat almost, and then the piece kind of ended. It was slightly disappointing to have him be, well, just curious. I wanted to feel more exact emotion, if that makes any sense at all. Give us some more personal facts, a metaphor or two and than a lot more detail, if you would like to.

Great job, keep on writing,
~SnowBerry