"Things I Don't Like" by Death

I just love how well the character of Death is portrayed. The idea that he takes some time out of his busy schedule to rant about the souls he takes and the evils of facebook; it's hilarious.

OMJ LOOOOOVE IT! <likes x10>

Like everyone else, I adored this piece.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your first sentence. It sets the tone of the piece wonderfully. I think just starting with "Death" will make readers write it off as unoriginal. I don't mind the phrase, "this morning" at all. It implies that the telling of the story is later on the same day, so it makes sense to me to have the rest of the sentence in past tense.

I think you could describe Death in more detail. If you make his approach and appearance more menacing, the humour of the rest of the piece is more likely to take the reader off guard, making it even more enjoyable.

crisp and cool

very nice alliteration.

"This is a list of the things I despise." He paused, as if in deep thought. "Well, maybe not despise, but I certainly don't like them.

This almost seems backwards to me. If he at first says that he despises the items on the list, then you'd think he would have titled the list "Things I Despise" by Death. It's really up to you, though.

I took the paper, ran to my house and immediately began copying Death's grammatically incorrect list of grievances.

This was one of my favourite sentences in the piece. Although it isn't necessary, you can put a comma after "my house."

#2. Facebook

I agree that this one isn't entirely relevant. I doubt Death has internet access, and it's not like Facebook kills people, so I'm not sure he would really care.

I think the order of your list is perfect. Although I did laugh more at some of the others more than at number 1, I don't think any of the others would make satisfying endings.

Overall, I really enjoyed it! I didn't find any grammatical errors, other than the one's that were supposed to be there in Death's list. Thank you for sharing!

-Sea-

This was mildly amusing for me. I agree with Death on number one. 'Specially about the last part!

Hi!! this was really great and brilliant..!!! Loved it... Never thought Death could also hate things!!:p

Hey I'm Toly and this is the first review I will be doing on this site. . . Don't wether you should be happy or I should. Hehe.
I must say that as I sat lazing on my bed, reading your story I could not help but burst into laughter. Your story, albiet slightly short, is hilarious. It provided such light heartedness to a topic that is usually serious. You proved that people today are so stressed about death that they forget to live.
A few pointers though: I'd really have liked if you described Death a bit more. You could have said "Deaths scythe dragged along the floor as he aproached me. When he stood inches away from me, he raised above his head. . . Smiled and said 'relax it ain't your time yet.'" This my opinion though. I feel it would bring out da humour of his list and himself alot more. All in all good story! Oh and by the way don't think Death would want u mentioning the fact that his list was grammatically incorect, it's never good to point out the flaws of supenatural beings. Lol

OMFG. (can I say omfg here? oh well.) Times the word "love" by 13.7 billion, and you'll get close to how much I loved this. It was really awesome. I like the beginning piece the best. When Death talks to you? Yeah, that. So great! Awesome job!

This is amazing, you have one grand sense of humor in my opinion!
My favorite lines would have to be:

#8 People who don't die at all and won't tell me how they did it. - If I were Death, I wouldn't like that either!

#6 People who die trying to get their cat out of a tree. (Note to those who could very well die trying to get their cat out of a tree: have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree? Trust me. I'm kind of an expert on the subject.) - Death has common sense! Haha

And #4 Teenage boys who die young, who have missed out on so many of the wonders and beauties of life, yet their only regret is that they never got laid. - I laughed alot at #4

This really did make me giggle; I look like a right weirdo randomly laughing in the computer room.
Great piece of work :') really imaginative, makes you wonder if this would be really said or not.
I look forward to reading more like this. (Not my best review but I can't think of a worthy comment for this).
Well done!!!

This was just really silly but in an interesting way. It\'s a little hard for me to imagine Death going to a kid because he needs a writer, but oh well. Very interesting piece of work.

Oh wow. This totally made my day
Funny. Really, extremely, funny.
I loved it
(Especially the last one)

Youu actually made Death seem funny!
Very well-written and incredibly unique idea.

Okay, lets make the introduction quick. I'm Emaly and I'll be reviewing your work for today. From a first glance it looks alright, now let's get into this.

Reading on, I can see you're pretty good with grammar and vocabulary. So I don't really have much to nitpick.

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Okay, this was unnecessary, and used incorrectly. I'm fifty percent sure this is editor slang for not, or math slang for not.

#10. People who die too early.

No. No lists when writing, it just doesn't work. It doesn't look right.

#2. Facebook

No one likes Facebook, but we all have it.

It's an overall funny piece, but you may want to cut the list.

Much too humorous. Loved it. Every single little bit. Who would've thought of something like this? Well, obviously you, but, it's brilliant. A very short review, no?

i loved it
it was funny
and a great read