My Princess

Hey, Pervy here! I absolutely love this poem! It's like a puzzle with all the pieces perfectly in order. You're really talented, it can't be denied. You made everything rhyme (which isn't the main point in poems, really) and yet kept it within the borders of "not sounding stupid or confusing". Great job! Loved this!

Do keep on writing, this was excellent.

Sincerely,
The Perverted Iguana~

Wow, this was an amazing poem and I love things like this. About mystical, mysterious people...
I loved reading this. I loved the flow. The title is real' nice and I can't see anything right now that needs criticising or whatever.
*follows*
Xxx

This is fantastic! Vocabulary is amazing, flow is great, and the grammar is wonderful.
Also, the rhyming was very well done. Overall I loved this! Keep writing!!!

Describe this poem in one word: Wow!!
All my comments have already been said but I just wanted to reiterate how good it is! I hope you continue writing poetry as you obviously have a knack for it. The grammer and flow are really good and it was enjoyable to read. Which, after all, is the point in reading most of the time.

Great poem! There are a couple of things that could be nitpicked a bit, but that would be boring to type out because they're almost irrelevant to the overall message of the piece so I'm just not going to type it out. I'm sure you won't mind xD Anyway, this is awesome. I'm not sure if you meant to do this or not, but I liked your references to other princess stories in here (I got a rapunzel sort of feel in certain parts of this, for example)... it really adds to the overall effect of the piece. ....and it makes me realize how behind I am on my princess stories, haha (gaah, feel so old). Definitely a magical feel to this one. Keep it up!

I love it! It was a beautiful poem. Just a couple points to hit on...

Beautiful beyond compare,
A scarlet rose in bloom,
Your eyes are bright, your face as fair,
As stars about the moon. <-- About the moon? I think you might want to change it to "around" the moon

You hold a secret power;
Deep within you burns a light:
A princess in a tower,
Softly singing in the night. <-- I loved this entire stanza It just flowed wonderfully.

Ever tighter winds your braid <-- I'm a little confused on this line, it doesn't make much sense to me. Maybe I'm reading it wrong is all.
Around my aching heart,
And deep inside I'm so afraid
That soon I'll fall apart.

You ignite a secret fire
In the silence of my soul,
And awaken a desire
That now defies control.

This alone I know is true:
For you I draw each breath;
And if I could give my life for you,
Then I would welcome death.

And yet I am forbidden
To love another girl,
So somehow I keep this hidden--
From you and from the world. <-- I feel the two "froms" are too much in this last line. Perhaps change it to "from you and all the world"

Well that's all of my critique! You don't have to do what I've said, because like I stated earlier it's a wonderful poem. Just keep it in the back of your mind

Keep writing!

Hi Warrior Princess,

This poem was absolutely beautiful. The imagery was great and the wording soft and gentle - the poem "worded" to absolute perfection. I loved the feeling and emotion behind your words and the structure of it was great. Need I say more?

Beautfiful, stunning and WOW. Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf

This is a great poem! It has a nice rhyme and you use very good descriptive words.
There is nothing wrong with it!!
Thank you so much for this poem,
sionarama

This is a great poem! It has a nice rhyme and you use very good descriptive words.
There is nothing wrong with it!!
Thank you so much for this poem,
sionarama

You are a true author. I love your work. Maybe using some good meaningful words will improve your skills.

Beautiful beyond compare,
A scarlet rose in bloom,
Your eyes are bright, your face as fair,
As stars about the moon. favorite part.

You hold a secret power;
Deep within you burns a light:
A princess in a tower,
Softly singing in the night.

Ever tighter winds your braid
Around my aching heart,
And deep inside I'm so afraid
That soon I'll fall apart.

You ignite a secret fire
In the silence of my soul,
And awaken a desire
That now defies control.

This alone I know is true:
For you I draw each breath;
And if I could give my life for you,
Then I would welcome death.

And yet I am forbidden
To love another girl,
So somehow I keep this hidden--
From you and from the world.

This some how reminds me of Romeo and Juilet , but maybe that just because its on my mind. Good words( maybe get work a little more on some of them) , and good grammar.

This is beautiful. I really like the way you’ve rhymed certain words together. You have a real talent for this.
I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a happy or sad poem, but you’ve captured everything beautifully to the point of painting a virtual picture of the person who’s feeling this way about a particular person.
You’ve done a really good job of this. Keep up the good work.

Wow. This is a beautiful poem. It flows perfectly and the structure is great! I loved how you've put rhyme in there as well.
It has a really nice gentle, yet mystical feel to it too.
I can't think of anything bad about this, it's a beautiful poem (as mentioned in the other critiques).
Keep up the good work!

Thank you for sharing this, it's very good. It's very well put together and every stanza works like clock work to one another.
I only have a tiny bit of criticism for the third and fourth stanza:

Your eyes are bright, your face as fair,
As stars about the moon.

the comma shouldn't be there in order to make the meaning of the sentece clearer. When I read through it I had to read that part twice.
Some of the senteces are a bit difficult for me to read, but that could just be me I just keep misinterpreting them.

Anyways, with that cricism I'll give you a compliment:

Ever tighter winds your braid
Around my aching heart,
And deep inside I'm so afraid
That soon I'll fall apart.

This is my favourite quote mainly because of the imagry. As a reader it draws me into the poem, makes me read more. I like how much emotion you were able to convey. For the future, I'd try and convey even more emotion, but that's just what I would preffer. I love poems that have a lot of emotion in them. This quote also has very good rythm and rhyme as all the poem does, which I like.
Overall, I liked this very much and I look forward to your future poems, they tend to have a lot of thought put into them
~~Zan