Mirror Girl

Love this. Speechless. ('Nuff said) (^-^).. The message is like something I would want to write about. (Although, I'm 99% sure I wouldn't've been able to articulate myself in nearly the same way.) This was pretty epic. I'll leave it at that, since this is obviously an older work of yours and already got all the praise it deserves, most likely making me sound like a broken record.

This is a beautiful poem, I couldn't really see anything wrong with it. I adored your wording, especially in the third stanza. After reading this I think I'll go read some more of your work, I'm sure it's even better than this.

Wow, this was such a great poem! I shall like it!

Punctuation's perfect, grammar -- flawless, and your style is great! My favourite part was the beginning:

The diamond girl was flawless,
her form and gait pristine.
God made her eyes from stars and seas,
and stroked his jealousy. -- great lines

"My dear," Hell said, "come closer now,"
the virgin girl complied.
He stained her skin like bloody rags
in his lustful devil-eyes.

Lumikins. I just saw my review on this poem when I was three months old in YWS years. I sucked at reviews. xD

*thumbs up*

The diamond girl was flawless,
her form and gait pristine.
God made her eyes from stars and seas,
and stroked his jealousy. Like this a lot.

"My dear," Hell said, "come closer now,"
the virgin girl complied.
He stained her skin like bloody rags
in his lustful devil-eyes. Nice.

Then Satan burned her in her sleep
and sewed her lips together;
and with the fires of hell he sealed
her in the glass forever. Only problem I have with this is...which "glass"? Comes out of nowhere.

Behind the glass, she faded fast
and God would never know
that mirror girl was held captive Why do you call her mirror girl?
with a phantom in her soul.

I put my comments next to the stanzas. But really enjoyed this. This is a style I love. No real punctuation mistakes either! (a rarity! ) Well done!

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews, but this is from last summer, so I'm just going to go ahead and lock it up since it's already had its fair share of reviews! If you still want to give me pointers, just PM them to me!

You guys are awesome, by the way.

-Lumester