BAM! (FUNNY SB!)

Oliver flinched at the sound of booming fire arm discharge, coming from the trees ahead of him.

What is this? Some kind of joke? Did the director think that using psychological tactics would somehow motivate us to all become best actors? Bloody hell, he really want's a Golden Globe award doesn't he?

As more gunshots spat through the forest, Oliver faded deeper inside the trees. He ran until the crackles were as faint as hazy memories behind him.

Sonja/Ms. Natasha Draven:

I was stumbling along, trying to escape...or something when I tripped over yet again.

"What is with me and tripping over?!" I yelled at no one in particular.

Bond sighed and hauled me to my feet.

"Even though betray us in the script," he said. "It's jolly good to see you with us right now."

I sighed and brushed past him. I heard the explosions and the gunfire. It wasn't close to me yet... I looked around at the other cast members. A few were missing, some were dead--literally dead.

"What the heck is going on?" I asked, looking towards 008. "Why are we running?"

Bond/Barry

It was time for a James Bond moment, I thought. I stood to face the shooting and ripped off my shirt before making a "Hulk"-like growl. I look evily into the distance and then ponder on the thought.

The shooting starts again.

"On second thoughts, perhaps this wasn't a good idea," I mumble as Alfie Al'a Pino comes into sight, running at me with a machete.

I make a break for it, quick on the heels of the others, frightened for my own skin.

"The jolly chap's a butcher!" I yelled.

008 sighed as he picked up a sprint.

Jessi/LOTCC

She jumped out of the forest right into the action. It was so perfect, just like the movies! Well, she supposed this was a movie so it worked out well.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Bond asked while he was sprinting away from the mad men with machetes.

Jessi sighed. She should have expected the whole hair and makeup - as well as costume - change would have thrown things off. Well, at least she could stop using that name. Jimmy, Lord of the Cracked Cornless was a mouthful. "I'm Jessi, and I'm that back up you requested."

"I didn't requ-"

"Enough," she interrupted. "Now, where are we going?"

Barry/Bond

"If I can?" I yelled, "Back to my bloody day job!"

She sighed and decided it would be better talking to 008 who seemed to know more about the situation, despite him taking it all so seriously.

I disliked the sudden lack of attention and ran to catch up with the rest of them, "Is this really part of Alfie's methods? Or did he just forget his medicine?"

The man rushed at Oliver, yelling in furry. A gleam of sliver in his raised right hand. A deadly talon, a blade.

Oliver shot out his arm and coiled his hand around his attackers wrist. He twisted violently, and jerked the man around.

Howling in pain, the man was thrashing like a fish on dry land. "You bloody son of a gun!" the man barked, kicking out with his foot.

Oliver groaned as the ferocious kick met his stomach. He lost his grip on the man's wrist and stumbled back. He whipped his head back at the man lashed out with his blade. The deadly weapon swiped inches from Oliver's throat.

The man ground his teeth, and snarled like a rabid dog. He took a lightning quick step forward and thrust out his knife straight ahead.

Oliver side-stepped and delivered a savage kick to the man's groin.

"Aghh!" the man howled as he fell to his knees.

Oliver took advantage of his opponents vulnerability and snatched his knife away. He raised his arm and let the back end of the blade bash into the man's forehead.

With a sickening crunch, the man's eyes shut. He was dead before his body plopped to the ground.

Panting, Oliver ran his hands through his hair. He could not believe that he had just killed a man. It was something that he hadn't done since he retired from the Special Forces. He had completely forgotten the rush of adrenaline that came from a kill. Blood rage.

008

This is a disaster. Banana men everywhere, and Oliver just killed the "director" I had to do something. Fast.

"Follow me!" I yelled to the rest of the cast, or, I should say, what was left of them.

If we were going down, we were going to go down fighting.

Jessi

Double oh eight had killed Alfie. Though she hadn't ever had an especially strong affection for the man, she still felt shocked that he had been killed so...drastically. Well, she supposed it would be alright. She had gathered from the cast and the recent events that he had been trying to kill them. And that just wasn't alright in Jessi's book.

If Alfie was dead, and as corrupt as he appeared, then the other writers were probably dead by now as well as the crew and unfortunately some of the cast. Jessi was the only one who really knew the location and at least what she had helped write as the assets to the big bad guys.

"Follow me!" Double oh eight shouted, running into the mouth of a dark cave.

Yes, the caves! Jessi had nearly forgotten them. They wound all under the island. She herself had toured them before they started writing the script. "Double oh eight!" Jessi shouted. "I know the caves, shall I help you lead? I never was much of a leader on my own, more of a follower, and often a co-leader. Would that even be possible, a co-leader? If you must share leadership, is either one really leading? I wonder-"

"Just get up here and stop talking!" Double oh eight snapped.

Jessi shrugged and picked up her speed so she could run next to him.

Sonja/Nastaha:

I followed 008 into the cave, watching the new girl closely... I didn't trust her. Something screamed traitor... Than again, I was meant to be a traitor too.

I shrugged and kept walking. What use would it be for me to start arguing with anyone?

I frowned and tried to remember the script... Something about caves and trouble. I sighed. My memory was horrid today.

"Hey!" I called out, catching up the group. I hadn't realised I'd fallen behind. "What're we doing now, huh?"

No one answered me as we followed 008 deeper into the cave.

Bond

I followed behind Ms. Davern and looked around the dark cave, and sighed.

"I do say, Mr. 008, you've got us into a spot of bother, son," I said, "Wan'a explain?"

He looked at me scarcely.

"I mean, we all used to work for an advertising company, now look at us! Blimmin' spiffing actors if I do say so myself! So, why on earth were we being shot at, eh?" I inquired.

008

I faced the cast and said forcefully,

"Geez, you guys are very clueless. In fact, that is an understatement. Anyways, I got news for you all! THIS IS NOT A MOVIE. So snap out of it. My name is John Barlow and I work for the CIA. WE've been trying to track Mr. Evil Persona for a long time now, and I was sent to "blend in" with an advertising company so that I could come here to this island. So all of you, or, what's left of you, LISTEN TO ME AND FOLLOW MY ORDERS AND NOBODY GETS HURT. Understand?"

Sonja:

I stared at the guy who wasn't 008.

"I knew it!" I exclaimed and pointed at him.

Everyone glared at me.

"What?" I asked, looking around innocently.

Bond

"Bloody good graphics for a non-movie," I laughed. "Any'oo Mr. Not-008, as you've seem to have saved our backs thus far, I'm all for following you! Any ideas?"

I looked around the dark cave and sighed, this was going to be a long scene... I mean day.

Sorry I haven't posted on here in a while. But this post will give you a good laugh.

Stella

I look at not-008. "So what should we call you now? something like 800. Eight double O? Or a whole diffrent number, like 546? Or is that too prime...I am, like, not sure these days." I say. He slaps his hands on his forhead.

Bond tosses me a big black thing (a pistol) with a hole in the end.

"Here, use this, you can help us kill that Mr. Evil Persono bloke."

It's heavy and has a little thing it looks like you pull. I turn the hole towards myself, and decide to see what happens when I pull the pully-thingy. Before I can, Sonja takes it away from me.

"This is pistol. Pointing it towards yourself and pulling the trigger makes blonde die." She says real slowly.

"Oh," I say solemly. "Well, what about god?"

"What the..." Bond asks.

"He talked to me earlier in the movie. Well, he actually talked to Jimmy, but I heard." I respond.

"Your hopeless." 008, or 800 or 546 or whatever-stupid-number-we-had-to-call-him-now said. My question, Why do people have numer names anyway? Who names a kid after a number? Stupid parents...

"So, what do we do now?" I ask.

Sonja is female... >.>

Sonja:

"Well, what now?" I asked, ignoring the blonde. Honestly, why did we have to get stuck with the blonde?

John Barlow-the 008 guy-gave Stella a glare and turned towards me. "We plan."

I scowled at him. "Right," I muttered.

Blondie started screamnig about bugs. I glared at her.

"Hopeless," I said and shook my head, spinning the pistol around in my hand.