Sayings that are Funny, But True

HERE is where you get to post sayings you think are funny, but are VERY true.

I haff a couple of examples:

'If someone says nothing's impossible, ask him to dribble a football' (American Football, not Soccer >.<)
'If someone says nothing's impossible, ask him to slam a revolving door'
'If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you'
'If at first you don't succeed, breathe deeply through your nose and continue... unless it's Listerine... That hurts my nose...'
'If at first you don't succeed, breathe deeply through your nose and continue... unless you're in the loo... STINKY!'



Haff YOU got any?

PS My sig is one xD

You took two of those from are agendas.

Happiness is like wetting your pants; everyone around you can tell but only YOU can feel the sensation.

ACK I forgot that one... MEH


COME ON PEOPLE, KEEP IT UP!

Sam wrote:Happiness is like wetting your pants; everyone around you can tell but only YOU can feel the sensation.

Actually that quote is adapted from one that went something like this:
"Enjoying giving a speech about economic inconsistencies is like pissing your pants. Everyone around you can see, but only you can feel the sensation"

If at first you don't suceede try and try and then give up.

Hee...

'Shaving a man's back is the ONLY way you can make him purr like a walrus!'

*purrs like walrus*

If at first you DO suceed, try not to look astonished.

I think you guys have the same planners...DUN DUN DUN...

"Why are wombats so pissed all the time?"

"These planners smell bad."

Very true.

"Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I

point taken...

Here is something I said to you Bobo i think... It was funny.

Bobo: You're awkward.
Elizabeth: No I'm not... I love you.

hahahahaha... ahahahah... hahaha... ha... ha..a... not funny anymore...

Eastern Europe joke

The plane that bombarded Hiroshima and/or Nagasaki (spell check) was called Anola GAY.

Its hularious....

Some despair.com sayings.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take and, statistically speaking, 99% of those you do."

"That which does not kill me prolongs the inevitable."

"It's lonely at the top, but it is comforting to look down on all the little people."

Some of mine.

"Practice only makes perfect when you are doing it right."

"If you aren't gaming, it probably means that something is very wrong."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, the more you eat, the faster it ends."

Life is like a box of chocolates, no matter how carefully you pick around, you will eventually get the nasty coconut.

Never tell the "i" before "e" except after "c" rule to a scientist.