Hate Me

So this poem just struck me yesterday while I was walking home from school. It's just a little something, but I thought it'd be worth sharing.

---

Hate me, hate me, hate me,
Is that all you can do?
You don’t even know me---
But I've seen a thousand like you.- (Thanks to KEMPTON for the edit suggestion!)

Simple, short, and sweet. No wasting words, no long, fancy descriptions. Just the simple truth in four lines.
It takes talent to condense thoughts into something short and understandable. Which is, of course, why this poem is amazing and why I shall give it a gold star.

I like it. Ironic and makes me feel a bit annoyed. But in a good way.

Not much to say, but here's what I've got:

Hate me, hate me, and hate me, Do you need the "and" here? I would prefer this line without the and. But I can understand if you want it there.

Is that all that you can do? For rhythm's sake.

You don’t even know me---

But I’ve seen thousands like you. Personally, I don't like the italics here. It seems amateurish. I was told to nix the italics in my first piece on YWS and honestly I didn't get why until I saw it in someone else's writing. I think the voice of the speaker would actually have more impact without the italics.

well done, my friend.

rachel

I like it too. It's short and simple, it carries meaning without being too deep and it doesn't beat around the bush with huge descriptions. That said, it's lovely for a poem written on the way home from school, a little 'mind jotting', for that I like it. However, I'd also like to see a little more of your deeply poetic side, some imagery and such. For a short, simply structured poem it is great. Well done

~Kirsten x

I like that it was short because it helps the reader find the point you are trying to make quick, and it shows that you have skill because your word choice has to be very precise. You should write more in that style.

(As others have stated) I really like this. It takes skill to say so much in so little! Despite that, I wouldn't mind it being continued, since you obviously have some talent. But don't because that would ruin it. But...ah, never mind.

One thing I'm curious about - the narrator says that the antagonist doesn't know him/her in the third line, which I assume goes both ways (the narrator doesn't know the antagonist either). And then in the last line, they say that they've seen thousands like "you." Which kind of strikes me as contradictory, like the narrator is annoyed that whoever is presuming to know him, but then the narrator does the same thing in the last line.

I hope that made sense. Anyway, it's not a bad thing, it's just interesting. Did you do that on purpose?

-Mars

GAH!!!

I am like the biggest length stickler you will ever meet but I just couldnt complain about this one!

hahah, it was great, hontestly, like one of the "F*** your uniformity" things

Loved it hah.


Edit by bubblewrapped: Watch the language, please

Edited to remove (I'm assuming) your name from the end. Just as a matter of 'net safety it's better not to give your full name online - you never know who might be out there

Otherwise, I liked the poem. It says a lot in just a few words, and the tone amused me. I disagree with nixonblitzen; you need the italics. I think if it was read without them, it would lose that particular sentiment which makes it tickle one's funny bone. But each to their own!

Cheers,
~bubbles

Short. Simple. Yet, once again, an amazing poem!
How do you do it?! (;
I really like this. I cant tell if it should be a depressing poem, like 'waah, everyone hates me, screw society, blahh' or if its supposed to be in a sarcastic manner, like 'wooh, your just like everyone else. im an original, like it or not.'
Great work (:

Hello,

Oh my goodness, this was so simple. Yet it has so much truth to it! I loved it. People are way too quick to judge. As for the length... Things don't always have to be long to have an impact. Some of the shortest words have more impact then they should. And most only have four letters. Such as; hate, love, pain, ect. It all depends on how you use them.

Great job!

Anyone with a soul has felt this way at one time or another, and that why this poem is great-to condense such a general feeling into four so concise lines rids it of all the B***S**T that you are talking about! No fancy qualifiers, no spit or fairy dust, just raw emotion and feeling, this poem resonates with me.

Wow... this is such a wonderful poem! It's short and concise, and really well spoken. It runs smoothly and conveys a strong meaning which I'm sure everyone has felt at some point. I agree with some of the other comments about not putting the 'and' in on the first line, but that is totally up to you. I thought that this was fantastic, keep on writing!

This was awesome! A simple idea no one would seem to think would make a good poem, but in reality it's really powerful and cool. Great job! Creative and original! Like muchly

I like it it shows that no one TRULY knows us for who we are.

Maybe consider the last line to be
"I've seen a thousand like you."

But, cool idea nonetheless.