YWS fanfic.

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Kaylyn: Hey did you hear, Nate left? Some person named Lee took his place.

Teddybear22: No, Nate is Lee.

Kaylyn: No he’s not.

Teddybear22: Yes, he is.

Lee: No, really, I took Nate’s place. He isn’t here anymore.

Kaylyn: Told you so.

Edward Cullen: See, Kaylyn’s always right.

Bella: *whines* But I thought I was.

Teddybear22 and Kaylyn catch sight of Edward and runs toward him screaming.

Kaylyn: “I told you he was real!”

*Edward Cullen vanishes, but Bella remains.*

*Kaylyn trips over Bella*

Bella: “You’re such a clutz. Kaylyn.”

Kaylyn: “That’s rich, you’re the real clutz.

Bella: “No, I’m not the one that tripped.”

Teddybear22: “I hate you Bella, you took Edward from me.”

*Teddybear22 then proceeds to slap Bella repeatedly.*

Lee: Haha, I just proved that Edward Cullen is a liar and is not all perfect. Because I am not Lee, I’m actually Harry Potter.” Muhahaha

*Lee rips off mysterious cloak to reveal harry potter*

*Teddybear22 looks accusingly at Lee/Harry Potter.*

*The real Harry potter appears*

Harry Potter: "You are an imposter Lee."

Harry Potter: “I look so much better and so much more handsome than Edward.

*harry Potter looks at Lee*

Harry potter: I am the real Harry Potter!

Lee: “Prove it.”

*harry Potter turns his wand towards Bella and makes her disappear. *

Harry Potter: “Is that enough proof?”

Lee: “You’re so awesome! You got rid of Bella!

*Piggy from Lord of The Flies appears*

Kaylyn: “I thought you were dead. The boulder fell on you.”

Piggy: “I was never dead, the author doesn’t control me.”

Kaylyn: “Except me, because I’m the author.”

Piggy: “No you are not.”

Kaylyn: "I'm the one who started the story, so therefore, I am the author. "

Teddybear22: “Kaylyn isn’t the author, she can’t control what anyone says.”

Kaylyn: “Yes I can, and you know what, I am so deleting you.”

*Everyone sticks out tongue at Kaylyn*

*Kaylyn attempts to hit the delete and backspace button, but finds that she can’t control the characters.*

Kaylyn: What’s happening?

Galerius: I have become the Author because your writing is atrocious.

Piggy: "Yes, I agree, Kaylyn's writing is atrocious."

Kaylyn: "No, it's not."

Harry potter: “Should I zap them?”

Kaylyn: "Yes, please, zap them both."

*Everyone nods, so Harry Potter tries to hit him with a snitch only to find that he is beating hiself up.*

Harry Potter: “I can’t do it.” *grunts from the effort.*

*Galerius glides from a dark corner.*

Galerius: “It’s because I’m the writer now.” Muhahaha

Lee: “But I’m the site admin. I am over you.”

Galerius: “Not in my story”

Kaylyn: "But it's not your story."

Piggy: "Galerius you're my hero."

*Galerius slaps Piggy*

*Everyone disappears except Kaylyn and Galerius. They have an epic battle in which Pikachu, Kaylyn’s pokemon beats up Galerius’ swallow. *

Kaylyn: haha my pokemon beat yours leaving me the true Author.

*Galerius disappears leaving Kaylyn alone. *

Kaylyn: THE END!


--------
By the way, I love Twilight, its the best book ever.
Last edited by Kaylyn on Thu Nov 27, 2008 1:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.




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Hahahahaha! * laughs, sobs, laughs from sobbing*
Great job Kaylan very funny! I thought it was very good. I didn't see any grammatical errors, but then again i was to busy enjoying it to look. Write another. You just earned a gold star, congratulations!
~peanut~
There is a light in you, a Vision in the making with sorrow enough to extinguish the stars. I can help you.
~And The Light Fades


The people down here are our zombies, who should be dead or not exist but do.
~Away From What We Started


P.S Got YWS?




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Minus 10 points for mocking Twilight in a fanfic. Na joking.

I think there should had been more interaction between Bella/Edward with other characters. It could had been extended further to bring the point home. That part just seems a bit bare at the moment.

I think you could had also worked on the Piggy part. He only has two lines of dialogue that doesn't really contribute much with what's happening. I could say that it seems rather random just having him in there.

I think those are my suggestions for the time being. I liked the Lee/Nate/Harry Potter concept and Galerius becoming the author and the final showdown with Pokemon lol.

Good work, and good luck with the contest.

Andy.
"To the edge of the universe and back. Endure and survive."




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Loved it!

*Lee rips off mysterious cloak to reveal harry potter*

*Teddybear22 looks accusingly at Lee/Harry Potter.*

Harry Potter: “I look so much better and so much more handsome than Edward.

*harry Potter looks at Lee*

Harry potter: I am the real Harry Potter!

Lee: “Prove it.”

I got lost here. Isn't Lee Harry Potter?
Good luck in the contest!! :D
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hahaha, you made my day.
--->Don't forget we've got unfinished business. Stories yet to unfold, tales that must be retold.
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[url=http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic38883.html[/url]You must post the link to this in this link or else it won't be accepted.[/url] ^_^

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Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.




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Will do! :)
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.




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So I didn't read the whole thing, but, what I did read--h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s! One crit/comment:
go back over it and try capitalizing the first and last name of Harry Potter. And fix the other few typos. Very well done! I beg you for more. :D




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So I didn't read the whole thing, but, what I did read--h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s! One crit/comment:
go back over it and try capitalizing the first and last name of Harry Potter. And fix the other few typos. Very well done! I beg you for more. :D




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:O

You took some of my elements for your story! I demand half the prize, if you win. XD

(And bulbasaur wins any time of the day. Though, really, Spoink is where it's at.)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Did I really? :O I didn't realize.
Sorry if I did.
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.



I don't have much knowledge about marsupials.
— ForeverYoung