I HATE POETRY!

I hate poetry!

It throttles the soul of writing
And forces the words to come out
Then it warps them further till they’re
Twisted hopelessly beyond help.

I hate poetry!

You need consistent metering
Or else the poem comes to a halt
So you cut down or make new words
And then hope the poem doesn’t stall.

I hate poetry!

Then there’s the inane writing scheme
Where every stupid word must rhyme
Which means the poem becomes pointless
As writers use dumb words like “dime.”

I hate poetry!

It’s meant for “intellectuals”
A nicer name for brainy snobs
Who distort it with funny words
Until your head completely throbs

I hate poetry!

What is in a stupid poem
That makes it totally profound?
All I see is a bunch of words
Spun nonsensically around.

AND I HATE POETRY!

Lord, please don’t ever let me write
Even one single, blasted poem
And when I speak dreamily
Remember, hide the pens and RUN!

Oh my gooooosh this was so hilarious, and you actually made it rhyme (O_O) amazing. Anyway, the rhyyming did seem forced... hehe... ironic isn't it? in some way it's ironic.

*laughs*

Although I normally hate poetry about poetry, I did like this.

Tee hee. I hear ya.

Somewhere between cute for a third grader to write and lame. Sorry...

Whenever I try to write smart poetry, it turns out crappy...yeah. Poetry, even anti-poetry poetry, has to be inspired, and this just wasn't. You know what I mean.

It was inspired by the authors hate of poetry, or was it not obvious? I think it was an excellent jest (if it is...) and quite vocal about her dislike, and here we see an excellent example of using 'fire against fire'. I too will admit, seeing this an appropriate oppurtunity, that I find poetry iffy. It irks me sometimes when I try to write poetry, and it turns out to be forced drivel. I've learned you can't force it, just let it out, you can't force anything for that matter, just look at all those people that did things through mistakes....So I wouldn't say it takes an intellectual (though it takes one of a learned mind to make sense of what has happened, perhaps).

This was written during the time of Bluebird, I was getting frustrated with all the comments about the original poem. The first comment?

"This seems too forced."

Okay, then, how did I make it less forced?

"It needs a better metering scheme."

Um... okay. Now how do I do that?

"Oh, you know, cut down words to make a certain syllable count. That way it's better."

Do I have to?

"Yes."

Okay, did that. How does the poem look now?

"Well... now that you changed that part of your poem, the writing scheme is totally off. Fix it."

But then I ruin the metering!

"Well, do both."

HOW????????????

"I don't know, think of something."

So I finally fix some of it, and then... guess what? People are analyzing this poem to a length that makes me uncomfortable. "Oh, this symbolizes your thoughts that freedom never exists! How... poetic."

Wait... I didn't say that. Where did I put that in the poem?

"Don't you see it? How profound! What a great writer you are."

Wait... you mean I totally screwed the poem in its form, and now you're seeing things that aren't plainly written?

"Well... that's how poetry is."

Um... okay.

"Can you write a poem for me now?"

I blink a lot. WHAT?

"Oh, you're such a great writer Snoinkos. Read my poetry and critique it, while you're at it."

BUT I CAN'T DO POETRY!

"You did that poem."

...

I hate poetry.

I would have to say I envy your cleverness...I could never do anything like this. I can relate to this poem VERY well...I loved it even though I don't exactly "hate poetry."

Very unique...

This was really funny and clever. I loved how you wrote a poem about hating poetry. That's cool.

The one thing that bothered me was how you changed rhyme schemes after the second stanza. You go from:

You need consistent metering
Or else the poem comes to a halt
So you cut down or make new words
And then hope the poem doesn’t stall.

Which does not rhyme, to:

Then there’s the inane writing scheme
Where every stupid word must rhyme
Which means the poem becomes pointless
As writers use dumb words like “dime.”

Which does rhyme. That bugged me a little.
I LOVED your last stanza. I feel the same way sometimes
Nice work

Cute. I really want to hand you my dog-earred anthologies of poetry so you can read the funny and profound out of meter and rhyme.

Ha ha! My thoughts exactly on poetry, that sort of stuff happens to me too ...

Impression of a critiquer: That's wrong, it's too forced. And very cliche.
Me: Ok, how do I make it less forced? I've never done this before.
Impression of a critiquer: .... *beep beep beep of phone hanging up*

It throttles the soul of writing
And forces the words to come out
Then it warps them further till they’re
Twisted hopelessly beyond help.

I thought I was the only one who thought that!

Very negative for someone who actually writes poetry. I enjoyed reading it. I thought it was funny and writing about hating poetry as a poem is effective. Do you actually hate it?

I lvoe poetry but that is just me.

Haha. Wow.
I liked the poem, but the explanation behind the poem was AMAAAYZING.
Kudos to you, Snoink.

This was sarcastic enough for me to look twice, read three times, forget it once, and then ponder what is for lunch. Overall, good with the evil.
If you could have added "five piece of a further sixpence" than the "dime" I would hide in a corner asking the wall socket for help. Very Good.