Shafter Story-Shredding Services

... Okay, so I wasn't alive in 1987. But it sounded cool.

Welcome! My name's Shafter and I'd be happy to give overall critiques (detailed or not depends on how much time I have and how much I like the story). If you want a critique, leave me a post that contains the following:

1) a link to your story
2) the title of your story
3) a sentence or two describing what you've written
4) what kind of critique you want

Some brief rules:

What I would like to critique:
Fantasy
Sci-fi
Steampunk
Experimental
Literary
I'm open to other genres as well, but these are my favorites.

What I would not like to critique:
Romance
Macabre
Horror
Poetry (I love poetry, but I'm not that great at critiquing it)

What I will not critique:
Poorly-punctuated stories
Stories containing graphic sex
Splatterpunk (or anything unnecessarily violent)

Finally, what do I ask in return? I'd love critiques for my story, Caste of the Spider, but it's not required. I'll be posting an updated chapter within a few days.

Hope to hear from all you whippersnapper writers soon!

Cheers,
Shafter

1) topic29564.html (scroll down until you hit the post with the Gandhi quote, as that's where it properaly begins)

2) Scavenger

3) *blank* Erm... An Elven hybrid is earning her living in a freakshow. It contains two of the greatest cliches alive, but they've been changed. (dundundun) So they shouldn't be cliches anymore. It's more alternate history than fantasy in a way.

4) Overall critique please, with details on characters, plot, style and emotion.


Thanks!

1) topic31049.html - - - It's fantasy (Mermaids)

2)Return to Milantis (Working Title)

3)Ariana is the heir to the throne of Milantis, but when she was a baby the kingdom was invaded, and for her safety she was sent to live as a human until it was safe for her to return. Unfortunately, the merman sent with her dies when she's five, before she learns she's a mermaid. She is adopted and raised as a human. Eventually she has to go back and save the kingdom, but I've only written as far as the merman's death.

4)Character development, even if it is a little short. And dialog too, I think it's choppy but I'm not sure how to fix it.

Hello, I am one of the res crew mods here on YWS. This is a message just to inform you that I will lock and archive this thread as it is not active anymore. We have to archive and lock the inactive threads to keep the forum organized so no worries, if you'd like to reopen it at any point in the future please contact a current resources moderator, we would be happy to reopen it for you ^-^

-Alice