Unfortunately; Fortunately

Unfortunately, the terrorists of the alternate Earth didn't need bombs to make explosions. They were masters of telikenesses and started throwing random objects that blew up for no reason.

Fortunately, the objects exploded into clouds of powder puff and bunnies.

Unfortunately, those bunnies were evil bunnies with razor-sharp teeth.

Fortunately, a goat happened to appear that loved eating said bunnies.

Unfortunately, said goat also enjoys eating people.

Fortunately, there weren't any people where the goat was.

Unfortunately, there were atomic asparagus, which, after being ingested, turned the goat into a massive metal juggernaut.

Fortunately, the massive metal juggernaut goat was nice.

Unfortunately, the Nazi Stormtroopers that crawled out of the massive metal juggernaut weren't nice.

Fortunately, there was a wizard nearby who turned the Stormtroopers into dandelion puffs that floated harmlessly away.

Unfortunately, the moment the dandelion puffs reached wherever they were going, they turned back into Stormtroopers and wreaked havoc on their immediate vicinity.

Fortunately, they landed on the planet Coruscant, right in the middle of the Jedi training grounds, where they were instantly wiped out by the eager young Padawans.

*nerdiness, anyone? *

*Done. By the way, the above wasn't fortunate at all. Nvm, I'll do a Fortunate one.*

Fortunately, a passing band of hobbits happened to rescue the few remaining Stormtroopers and, while they were at it, destroyed the Padawans with their Westernesse-forged, leaf-hilted daggers.

*the other side of nerdiness!*

*It was fortunate for the Jedi*

Unfortunately, the Witch-king of Angmar was passing by that way, saw the hobbits, and flew down on his fell beast to capture the halflings.

*nerds rock *

Fortunately, their magic wizard so conventionally happened to be there, and the Witch-king was no match.