Stupid Jokes.

Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

[quote]Why can't anyone find Bach's teacher and mentor?
Because he's Haydn!


Why couldn't Bach go to the movies?
Because he was Baroque!
[/quote]

Flemzo, I LOVE IT!

Why did Beethoven hate chickens?
Because they were always saying, "Bach Bach Bach!"

Two cows were sitting and chatting in a meadow. Bessie says to Daisy, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." Daisy says, "No way, really?!" "Yeah," replies Daisy. "No bull."

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye mother'? It would make me feel much better."

"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

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A chick had just finished shopping.

She bought: 1 potato, 1 tomato, 1 salad bag, 1 toothbrush, 1 clove of garlic, 1 blanket, 1 ice cream, 1 apple, 1 pear, 1 small frozen dinner, 1 frozen pizza, 1 orange, 1 tea towel, 1 chocolate, 1 one liter bottle of milk, 1 onion, 1 pumpkin, 1 cake of soap, 1 pillow.

The check out guy looked up at the girl and smiled, "Single, huh?"

The girl blushed and said, "How did you guess?"

The guy says, "Cause you're f***ing ugly!"

..... lolz......

A man walked into a bar with a giraffe,

After getting really drunk, the man began to leave. The giraffe was on the floor totally out of it.

The bartender goes, "Hey, you! You can't leave that lying here!"

The man turns around and says, "It's a giraffe, not a lion!"

Ok everyone asked Martin Luther King
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
King replies "The chicken had a dream."