Stupid Jokes.

What do cows call their spouses?

Their Significant Udder!

(lol...)

Ok, I'll do one that I read from a book

"A girl and her mother are at a wedding. The little girl asks the mother, "Why is the bride wearing white?" The mother smiles and answers, "Because it is the happiest day of her life."

A little while later, the girl asks, "Then why is the groom wearing black?"

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

---

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

---

A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into a drive way.

---

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.


I've got a plethora of this junk. xD

Saint Razorblade wrote:A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

---

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

---

A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into a drive way.

---

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.


I've got a plethora of this junk. xD

I liked the fish one.

What's the difference between an orange bicycle?

A banana, because a vest doesn't have sleeves.

(Thank my grandma for that beauty right there)

Whey did the bull cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation!

(Dumb eh? )

Oh yes that was...but not as dumb as this

Why'd the potato cross the road?

To get to the Farmers Market so he could be sold for an extremely high price to a poor person that would just end up in a deeper debt than before.

okay here goes....

Two men walked into a bar.

One ducked.

Two men walked into a CLUB

Both cracked their heads open and went to the emergency room

(From my friend Thomas who is sitting next to me. This ought to be interesting folks.)

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side...

Two blondes walk into a building.



You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

Cpt. Smurf wrote:Two blondes walk into a building.



You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

That was a really bad time to be drinking Coke. xD

These are only funny to me and any other music buffs, but eh, they're still good...

Why can't anyone find Bach's teacher and mentor?
Because he's Haydn!


Why couldn't Bach go to the movies?
Because he was Baroque!

This one is really old:
A person is making muffins. She puts the batter into the little molds and puts them into the oven. It starts to get really hot in the oven, so one muffin says to the other: "Gosh, I'm burning up!" The other muffin screams "Help! It's a talking Muffin!!!!"

Yeah, really lame,

Jenni321

A pirate ship is sailing when suddenly they find themselves under attack.

First mate: Sir! We're under attack by two ships!
Captain: Argh, bring me my red coat.

The first mate got the captain his red coat and later the battle was won.

First mate: Sir might I ask why you always go into battle with your red coat?
Captain: Because when I'm hurt, people can't usually tell if I'm bleeding.

The next day they find themselves under attack yet again.

First mate: Sir, we're under attack by fifteen ships! Shall I grab your red coat?
Captain: Forget the coat, get me my brown pants!