Short Prologue

I suppose that my life would be simpler, maybe even happier, if I'd never been bitten. My best friend wouldn't be dead...and I wouldn't have killed her. Somehow though, I cannot regret what happened that night, for born from the fear and pain of the change grew a clarity that I'd never known existed.

I'm not alone going through this either. For the first time in my life, I truly belong.

It's not like it really matters either way. None of us could go back to who we were, even if we wanted to. We were born again that one night around an innocent campfire.



Ya it's short....I like it WAY better than the old version though....what do you think?

Short...But sweet. I really like this and yes it could be longer. I can't really say anything else except how great this was. I can't wait to read the whole thing.

Good luck,
FlyingDream

i like this, i also cant wait for the rest.
good job.

kim

Hey! Like everyone else, this is really good, and mysterious. I wonder what bit him/her? I wanna read the rest!

BBB

Way improved from the old version. It really grabs my attention. Can't wait to read more!

I'm new here and never read the first version (not yet at least).
I thought it was a great beginning to a prologue that could be MUCH longer.
Still though, I thought it was good =]
I'm not sure if there is a story along with this prologue, but my first impression was that the story was going to be about a werewolf or mayhap a vampire?

thanks for your comments!
By the way, it's about weres, but I like to leave it open at the beginning, another reason why it's short. Do you really think that I need more to it? P.s. Typing up a random fragment of this story right now, check it out!!

I like it very much! Reminds me of the short little excerpts that you find at the beinning of Twilght (et al). I love those...lol.

I don't see anything wrong with plot or characters or flow, so I'll move right on to the grammar.

Swirl Antara wrote:I suppose that my life would be simpler, maybe even happier, if I'd never been bitten. My best friend wouldn't be dead...{Ditch these, mate. It makes it look like you wer trying too hard. I can see if this was the last sentance of the story, but just replace it with a period or a comma. perferably a period.}and I wouldn't have killed her. Somehow, though, I cannot regret what happened that night, for born from the fear and pain of the change grew a clarity that I'd never known existed.

Swirl Antara wrote: I'm not alone going through this, either. For the first time in my life, I truly belong.

It's not like it really matters either way. None of us could go back to who we were, even if we wanted to. We were born again that one night around an innocent campfire.

Heh. I really love the word innocent there. That's awesome.

This was really good, mate! Great work!

Hiya!

I really liked it, its mysterious, strange and certainly not too short. It adds a nice bit of suspense for the first few lines, and I can't see anything wrong with it!

So is this about vampires? Just a guess you know

Keep Writing!

~D'Aedomir~

It's nice to see that you can make so few sentences into something so deep and mysterious.

I really liked it

Please tell me it's about werewolves.

I really like it. Nice job.

very mysterious prologue.

cant wait to read more

change "I'd never known existed" to "I never knew existed." It's better grammar.

other than that, this is great and I'm totally excited to read more.

It causes me to go hmmm....*Ponders*
You're writing style causes me to think already that you've found your own voice, and the prolouge reads very nicely indeed.

So I want to hear more!

PM me please when you do post up some more, now you've got me interested, I will come back looking for more of you're work

good job. You certainly been working on this a while.

PM me!!!!