Crush

Love it! I came back to re-read it... again, and probably will again... and again... and again... etc.

You made the all too common mistake of interjecting noise when there is a really a pulsing silence already there.

I agree, it sounds kind of preteenish. u're aiming for adult! unless, u really are aiming for kids.

JEnni

It's probably a pointless exercise to crit a poem that the poet doesn't like, but then again, I prefer pointless exercise to the proper, energetic kind

Everyone's complaining about how adolescent and preteen it is, but I honestly think that's missing the point. Are you guys trying to tell me that you could write something deep and meaningful about puppy love? I'd like to see that.

Basically, puppy love's meant to be flowery (oh okay, 'marshmellowy'), childish and a little bit embarassing, and that's what this poem is. And goddammit, as far as that goes, I liked it.