God. (renamed from Strength and why I dont have much of it)

You guys all helped so much
RE teacher? whats that?

RE stands for Religious Education, Don't you have one?

No I don't. My school pretty much avoids conflicts of all kinds because they're too lazy to debate about things like religion. Knowing me, Id pull this out and everyone would turn into a huge violent riot and kill me.

I bet you would but its good that you think about these sort of things, it means your curious which means your clever. (well, that's what I say anyways)
Charlotte

I'm also glad you changed it. Way better now ^^ I just found one sentence really weird :

Is it the age of discovery, between the ages of stupidity and reaching the age at which adults seem to think they're too mature to think such thought provoking things?

... maybe you could make it clearer by making two sentences out of this one ? 'Cause it truly is quite confusing.

Graesch- I had my doubts about that sentence too. I was gonna try to rework it, but... I'll just have to try a little harder on it. I'm glad you liked it ^_^
Charlotte- Lol. I like to think of myself as clever.

Sue me. I thought it was a fiction story at first. So I was looking at the dialogue and the description coming with the lines with the dialogue, thinking, "Wow, she can describe more."

Which actually sounds slightly sadistic because now I know it's not fiction, but... yeah.

Oh well!

Things that would make it more interesting to read:

For instance, when you say, "referring to my wrist" I think that's a cop out. Describe the wrists. Describe your friend's reaction to the wrist. This does a couple of things. It helps identify who you are and it can give you a better basis for this argument. Because really, your argument isn't very strong at the moment, not because your reasoning is necessarily weak, but we want more background on why you think it.

Anyway, based off the comments, it looks like you have improved it, so I hope that this comment will help it further. Good luck on your edits!

By the way, I love the piggy.

Snoink- Thanks for the constructive criticizm. These comments are like *AAAH (terrible)*more terriblenesses*and then (chorus of angels) applause*more applause*and finally... dum dum dummmmmm! WHAT CAN MAKE MY WRITING BETTER!!!*
Again, thanks. I'll get more support for my argument and try to explain things better.

PS, I love Spiderpig XD

Disclaimer--this critique is purely stylistic. If you agree with the comments, use them. If not, do NOT take my opinion as law.

On to the critique. ^_^

God has made me weak, physically, mentally, spiritually... in all forms I can think of.

Ah...it seems to me that you could use a short halt–in the form of a colon–in order to strengthen the statement, rather than letting it flow unimpeded.

Translation: Put a colon here. “God has made me weak: physically, mentally, spiritually...in all forms I can think of.”

"Why has God let me get this deep into trouble?" I asked, referring to my wrist. The scars burned into my flesh, criss-crossing patterns of pain. It's amazing how much harm a little safety pin can do to one person's life.

I agree with Snoink, here. “Referring to my wrist” is a cop-out. I think there needs to be an action here. The pulling up of a sleeve to reveal the scarred wrist to your friend perhaps.

If you think about it, God, or the idea of God, has always held mankind back. Try as you might to believe otherwise, we're afraid of God. And why not? I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't be afraid of a huge, mysterious being with the power to make or break you, every second of your life? Who isn't a little overwhelmed by the fact that if you don't completely accept God and Jesus and this whole Christian religion, you will be damned to a horrible eternity of pain and suffering? Frankly, it pisses me off.

Excellent point. Until the last sentence, which makes the entire thing sound juvenile. I would change it to something with more power, and less angst.

If God loves me so much, why has he made me so weak?

Weak ending. I think I have a way to fix it. If you quote a religious text earlier, maybe leading into the piece, backing up the idea that God loves you (or everyone, for that matter), then your ending will have a bigger impact when you question it.

–ME