Snow. It is all that I see. I am surrounded by the gleaming blizzard; it swirls down to the ground me. I am lying on my side, half buried in soft fluff. It is such a perfect temperature; cool and refreshing! But what is happening to it? It is flattening and the laciness is leaving. The cool crispness is becoming smotheringly warm –almost like soggy fabric. Now it is fabric. Where did the snow go? I reach around for it. I am soon thrashing. I feel blind. Why can I not see?
Someone calls my name.
~
“Yeah?” I say, propping myself up on my elbows.
The soggy air presses against me like murky water. No wind stirs it’s mugginess and I am almost afraid to breathe for fear that it may indeed prove to be water. I wish desperately that I should open my eyes to the beautiful crispness of the powdery snow and inhale blissfully fresh winter air. But no; through my opening lids seeps humid light and a sticky, sweaty feeling surrounds my awakening body.
The person who called me is Libby, my sister. She’s in her bed next to mine, and her tanned face is carved with lines of anxiety. Her dark eyebrows are arched and her short, silky brown hair resembles a tangled bird’s nest with twigs of hair sticking out in every direction.
“It’s just that you were kinda’ squirming around and stuff –you okay?”
“You woke me up ‘cause I was squirming? Leave me alone, I wanna get more sleep.” So saying, I turn towards the wall and pull my sheets around me. If only I could find that wonderful snowy place again. Why won’t my sheets make the transformation into snow? Maybe if I focus hard enough—
“But Lucy, you were thrashing!” My nosy sister cuts into my concentration again.
I sit up and look at her menacingly. “Listen Sis, will you stop trying to be my mom and let me go back to sleep?”
She looks shocked. “Lucy, why are you acting like this? Sure you feel alright?”
“Yes,” I spit, glaring at her.
“Do you have a fever?” She asks, getting out of bed.
“No. I just want more sleep. What time is it anyway?”
“I dunno…” she looks at the alarm clock. “Five-thirty.”
“You expect me to wake up at five-thirty during summer vacation? Do you feel okay?!”
She reaches out and touches my forehead. I roll my eyes.
“You don’t feel feverish.”
“That’s because I don’t have a fever, okay Sis? Just shut up now and let me get some sleep.” I turn towards the wall again, pretending not to hear as she says, “Lucy, why are you acting so mean? What happened to you? What did I do wrong…Lucy?”
Where is the snow? Perhaps if that voice would just stop, it will come back to me.
“Fine. Pretend not to hear me.” Her voice is getting coarse, the way it does when she cries. “I don’t care.” She leaves the room.
Ahh… I can feel my bedclothes growing fluffy and bleeding together…. the air is cool and fresh –and quiet.
The serenity is exquisite. I notice that the blizzard is slowing and thinning. I am just starting to see a slight division between land and sky. I lean down and swish my hand through the snow. It is so airy that it reforms around me, barely leaving a dent. I look around and am surprised to see footprints leading away from me. They are peculiar footprints. The designs are crisp –too crisp for the recent snowstorm and the feathery snow. What could have made them? I kneel down to take a closer look. They look like stars, or trees, or snowflakes; with six swirling arms that split and twist. In the center of each star is a curly design that resembles a Celtic knot. They look faintly familiar, but I cannot place where I have seen them before. What celestial being could have made its prints so clearly in the powdery snow, into which I can make no permanent impression?
I rise and look around. It is not snowing at all anymore, so I can see ever so far. The land is devoid of hills or landmarks of any kind save a grey-green forest to my right. But that is so far away that I can’t see it properly. It just looks like a spiky, glittering mass on the horizon. The footprints seem to lead from me to the forest. I start to follow. It will be a long walk, but I don’t mind; I seem to be able to move here much swifter than before. The delicate air is tinged with a tangy twist of exotic sweetness, like a drop of citrus juice that is swirled into water. I walk faster, sure now that the footprints are leading to the forest.
Shortly after I begin to walk, I start to hear muffled shouts and feel a painful grip on my arm that makes me pause and look around. There is nobody there. But yet, I can feel the fingers –the strong, hard, boney talons. Panic makes me run and running tears the talons away from me. Soon the grip catches me again, but I punch it away roughly and run faster. Something in the direction of my punch emits a pained yelp, distant and insignificant.
I bow my head and run, not allowing the clawing grip to slow me down. With each leap, a cloud of twinkling snow puffs up around my knees. I yank free of the grip and bound onwards. I think it is snowing again, but the flakes that tickle my face with their angelic coolness may be just what I am disturbing with my feet. Whatever the reason, there is a cloud of white snow around me through which I cannot see. But I do not feel blind; I feel safe, almost guided.
My head still bowed, I spring onwards, as elegant as a gazelle. My terpsichorean feet barely alight after each leap, only long enough to propel myself for the next soar. But there is that demonic tug again, accompanied by a shout. I shove the grabbing hands away and run even faster.
Something hits hard against my forehead. I look up in time to see that the cloud around me has thinned and I was just hit in the head by a grey-green pine-tree that glitters with a layer of frost. Icicles tinkle against each other in high branches like fantastic wind chimes. The heavenly sound is suddenly intermingled with a crude human shout. I reach out to hug the enormous trunk, but realize too late that I cannot help myself from falling awake.
~
“Lucy!”
I look up. I am outside in the front yard. Mom and Libby, dressed in their bathrobes, are on either side of me, supporting me, and a big tree looms in front of us. But this tree does not glisten or tinkle; it is nearly dead from the summer heat. The sun is blindingly strong and hot; it glares at me as if I am a naughty child who needs a scolding. I look towards Mom. Her bottom lip is swollen to twice its normal size and oozes blood that she doesn’t bother to wipe away. I wonder with a little pang of guilt if she was the thing that yelped when my punch landed. Dismissing the pang defiantly, I focus on the heat.
“Ugh, it’s so hot!” I complain.
“Oh, Lucy!” My mother says, her skinny arms sweeping me into a gripping hug. The pang inside me notices that her voice is badly blurred by her lip. “Are you alright? You just ran straight out of the house and smashed into the tree.”
“I might be if I wasn’t being smothered.” I snarl, pushing myself away from her by jabbing my elbow into her rib, making her yelp. “Why don’t you guys just leave me alone and mind your own business?” I growl, turning on my heel and marching off towards the house.
“Lucy, you were sleepwalking.” Libby says, stepping rudely in front of me.
“I was?” I say. The pang inside me is surprised, taken aback, but I ignore it. “So?”
“So?” Libby repeats, her voice spiced with incredulity. “So we woke you up. We thought you’d hurt yourself.”
“Why?” I ask, thrusting my hand onto a hip. “Did you think I couldn’t handle it?”
“Lucy.” Mom says sternly, grabbing me by the shoulders and spinning me around to face her. “You’ve never acted like this before, what’s wrong?”
I try to shake free of her familiar iron talons, but they claw at my nightshirt and refuse to give in to my squirms and pleas. I will have to try another escape tactic –but what? I search her eyes. Behind the mild anger is deep fear –fear not for herself, but for someone more dear to her; for me. An idea tugs at my mind –I have a plan!
I relax and let my eyelashes flutter a little. “Mom,” I say weakly, “Sorry for being mean; I don’t feel good. Can I go back to inside now? I feel like I’m gonna faint.”
“Alright, but you probably shouldn’t go back to sleep.” Mom says.
We walk back inside and through the house to the living room. I splay myself out on the couch.
“I’ll go get you some lemonade.” Mom says. “Lib, can you turn up the AC?”
As they leave the room in two different directions, I relax and close my eyes. I am sinking into the cushions; they are unnaturally fluffy. The padding is growing and bleeding together….
I am sinking into snow. I stand and look around. I am in the exact same place as when I last left! The tree stands in front of me, glittering with almost holy majesty. Backing up, I see that I have reached the forest. This one tree with which I am already familiar is but one of thousands like it. I look down and see the footprints leading off into the forest. I begin to follow. The pristine forest is nothing but ice-covered trees, each of the same grey-green color and towering height. The uniform symmetry of the plants could be disconcerting, but the glittering, other-worldly beauty is so intense that I have to wrestle with myself to fling my gaze away from them and back to the tracks.
My eyes intent on the tracks before me, I pace through the trees as if in a trance. Again, I feel the touch on my arm, but now it holds my hand. It soon feels as if there is someone on either side of me, accompanying me. I do not need company, as this is a place of serene solitude, but I do not mind the handholds.
I look up. The tracks lead on for about twenty yards to a glowing patch in the trees so intensely beautiful that I stand still for a moment staring, before flinging my holding hands away and running. The light looks like a distant star magnified. It twinkles and winks and glows. I am now about four yards away from it and can see that there is probably something in the center that is emitting the light. I wonder what it is in there. Without looking away from the light, I sink down to my knees. Hands grip me and pull. I am soon being carried speedily away from the light. No, I do not want to go! I desperately try to fight the hands, but to no avail. The arms that hold me are shaking jarringly and my teeth clatter against each other with painful clicks. I punch and flail, but I cannot help it; I am being forced awake.
~
“Lucy?!”
The heat makes me feel grimy.
I am sitting in our driveway, my upper body resting against the scorching metal of our car. Mom and Libby are on either side of me, their sweaty brows furrowed in apprehensive concern.
“Lucy, you okay?” Libby asks me.
“Yeah,” I say “I feel a little better.” I stand up and, pretending my knees are wobbly, and clutch at the car for support. “Gosh, I feel really weak.” I murmur. “Can I go lie down again?”
“Well, if you’ll just sleepwalk again, then maybe you shouldn’t.” Mom says. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“But I really need to.” I say. “I’ll probably fall asleep soon if I’m not in bed anyways; I’m really tired.”
“Well we’ll go back now and wake you right away if you start walking again.”
We walk back to my bedroom. My insides squirm with curiosity at the thought of the glowing thing. I can’t wait to go back to sleep and meet it! I run back to bed with urgency that probably shatters my ailing, exhausted illusion. But I don’t care; as long as I can see that light again, I’m happy. I dive into bed and try to arrange my thoughts in a snowy way.
My sweaty limbs stick together and I pry them apart, trying to lie without touching any two body parts to each other. If only my fingers and toes would separate more! Wait, something is making its way in between my toes –something refreshingly fluffy and cool.
I am in the same position as I was in bed, but I feel completely different. The air is fresh and vivid, the snow whiter than ever. Overhead loom the icy trees, magnificent boughs glittering with crystal icicles. I raise my head ever so slightly to look in front of me. But I needn’t look; I can feel the light without seeing it. I do not feel it because it is hot; it is more tangible than heat since I do not sense it just with my body, but with my mind –my soul. It flows inside me and swirls around me, pulling me towards it.
I try to tell it that I cannot come; that I will be awoken if I stand and walk. It does not occur to me to talk, so I just say it with my mind. The being seems to understand; it glides towards me, blinding me with its beauty. I lean towards it. As I reach into the depths of the light, I feel myself awakening, returning home. For the first time, I look down at my body. It is an opalescent glow, just like the other being.
“Mother!” I exclaim, not constraining my emotions into words, but saying it with my mind. Another being drifts towards me. “Libby!”
“Oh, Lucy!” Their greetings echo inside me.
“I had such dreams!” I say. “I saw the world from an alien’s point of view –and I never knew it was so beautiful!”
