Answering machines

Colette:

Jessie, Hi this is Colette from Night Amiss -Bar and Club. I'm calling for Daniels cell number, he wishes that I call him for more details conserning certain incidents. Thank you for your help.

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Hell's Ally -Night Club machine

You've reached hell. Azure isn't avaliable at the moment, if it is a matter of grave imporance, he's only a gunshot away. If it can wait however, leave us a message, and Death will get to you in the most timely matter possible. Thank you for your support.

Have a nice afterlife.

Hey, I need a few shots for my gun so I can make that apointment. Can you send some over to me? My name's Clarissa. Death actually gave me this number.

Answering machine:

Hi, this is Clarissa, the Princess of Darkness. If your name has something to do with the Light, hang up now or I will get Lucifer to come after you. If you're feeling brave, make sure you leave your name and number, and I'l come and give you the shapeshifting show you're after. *BEEP*

Carnivore:
I got a wrong number, and I'm glad I did. "Princess of Darkness," eh? I like it. You sound just like the kind of gal I'd like to get to know. We should get together sometime. Call me.

Answering machine at Chris Barlowe's Garage:

Hey, you've reached Barlowe's Garage. If you're calling about a vehicle, wait for the beep. If this is Mr. Gothinstein again, I've already told you all I know. Go away. *BEEP*

Amara: Hello. This is Amara, Sun Goddess and Supreme Ruler. Do you do chariots?

Amara's Answering Machine: Just because I'm a goddess doesnt mean I'm omnipresent. Leave your name, mortal, then go away and donate something to the temple. Who knows? If you pray hard enough, I might even call you back. **beep**

Chris:
Hello. This is Chris from Barlowe's Garage, calling for Amara. To answer your question, the last time I worked on a chariot was when I was a kid, helping a friend get ready for some sort of festival. Anyway, we don't do chariots regularly, but if you want to call me back, we could probably figure something out.

Michael's college answering machine:
Hey, this is Michael. I'm either out or studying or just generally unavailable at the moment. Leave your name and number and I'll call you back ASAP.

Marc:

My bad. Wrong number. Ha, you're studying? Sucks to be you. Later.


Marc's answering machine:
'Sup, this is Marc, I'm ignoring your call right now, but if you leave a message and I like what I hear I might call you back...maybe. BEEP.

Bao:
Yeah, well, if I had wanted you to ignore my call, I certainly wouldn't be picking up the [beep] phone and wasting my precious time, would I? [hangs up]
Constance [calls back Marc's answering machine]:
Sorry 'bout my friend; he just found out he's stuck in this town for the rest of his life.

Mrs. Mills's answering machine:
Hello, you've reached the Mill and its residents; press one for me, Mrs. Mills, two for Charlie, three for Constance [in background: "It's Connie, Mrs. Mills, no one's called me Constance since I wore pigtails" "Of course not, dear"], and four for Bao; oh, and here he is now! Bao, would you like to say hello? [Bao: why would I want to do something like that?] He's a bit cranky right now, maybe some other time. So leave a message after the [beep]

Take.: "What strange names... Hey, if you're illegal outsiders, you'd better pack your bags. I may have dialed a wrong number, but it'll take me all of a few minutes to look it up. I'll have to file a complaint with U________d security about this... -click-"


Rem___'s answering machine:

"Hey, this is Rem. I'm gone right now. HE might be there, but even if he was he won't answer. Ridiculous, isn't it? Anyhow, leave a message. At least one of us returns calls. If it's work, and you couldn't find me anywhere else, leave a message. If it's for him, I'll make sure he gets it, but... you know he won't call you back. Later. -beep-"

Xaviar:
Hey, Rem. I was just calling to say that I'd be glad to babysit your son. I'll see you then! *click*

Xaviar's answering machine:
Hey, this is Xaviar. Either I can't come to the phone right now or I just choose to ignore your call because I don't like you. Probably the latter. *Beep*

Agatha:

Xaviar? Xaviar? Don't know an Xaviar... Must be the wrong number... Sorry! Now where's that button that ends the call... This one? No. How about this one... No. Hey Nolan! Oh, dear. How do i turn this off. Oh thanks. *click*

Agatha's answering machine:

Wait, what?? Oh it's on?? Oh, oh, okay! ... Hi, this is Agatha, I can't come to the phone right now - wait, im on the phone right now though Nolan!! - (Nolan's voice) Grandma, grandma, let me take over. Hi this is Agatha's phone, she can't come to it right now, and will hopefully get back to you soon. *BEEP*

Marc:
Wow...ma'am, did you lose your oxygen tank? You might want to ask your buddy Nolan to go get it, because you sound a little out of it...anyway, since this is a wrong number, I'm hanging up now.

Marc's answering machine:
'Sup, you've reached Marc's cell phone, which hasn't been turned on for months because I've been in and out of comas, traveling between worlds, catching up on homework, and earning minimum wage at Ruby's Diner. If you leave a message, I'll call you back when I'm sane again. Later. *BEEP*

Raina:
How... fascinating. Apologies, it seems like I've called the wrong number. *Mutters* Traveling between worlds... how ridiculous. That one person whose whimsy was supposedly peering into different worlds was definitely found to be a fraud. Right? Right. *Hangs up*

Raina's answering machine:
Hello, this is Raina. Feel free to leave a message. I'll get back to you after school, whumball practice, and, oh, insulting Will on his Whimsical History knowledge. If you're really desperate to talk to me, which would be understandable, you're welcome to try to find me on campus at the Dewspire School of Whimsicality. *BEEP*

Hope Grace:
*BEEP* Oh, wow! Dewspire School of Whimsicality! That sounds amazing! What do you learn there? And what's Whimsical History? I would love to talk with you about all this whimsical stuff, but I can't seem to find any Dewspire Schools or Whimsicality schools on Google Maps... let's see... *sound of cell phone tapping and scrolling* nope, nothing! Oh, wait, I was supposed to be calling Ana... ugh! I should never have deleted her number from my phone! This is obviously not the right number... anyway, bye! I wish peace and love to your whimsical existence! *click*

Hope Grace's answering machine- er - voicemail greeting?
Hello! You have reached the phone of Hope Grace - and yes, that is my real name, and no - I am not a hippie. Not that being a hippie is bad, I just am not one. Or at least, not an extreme one. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, yeah! Please leave your name, pronouns if you have them, and reason for calling after the beep. If your business with me is extremely important, I will try to answer as soon as possible! If you're Zach or one of his jerk homophobe friends, don't bother. I wish peace and love to your existence! *BEEP*

Xavier
Woah! Wrong number. However, nice to hear you're all for nonhomophobia! I'm Xavier Londons, pronouns he/they. Call me again if you'd like!

T'sor'pe's answering/voicemail
Intruiging... surface device. Hello, I am T'sor'pe, second venturer of the abyss. I imagine this is a surface device, in which you transfer signals? Please... tell me who you are I suppose. *BEEP*

Xavier's voicemail
Hi! It's Xavier. I probably did see tou called but forgot to pick up! Do please drop ypur name and pronouns goober, and I'll call ya back! If your name is Jameson or Eriqa Londons please go die. *BEEP*

Charon's voicemail:
Hello! I'm either off-ship or dealing with combustible chemicals or uh, explosives in layman's terms. I'll get back to you if I remember, and if I go... a month without answering please call again.