Falling like Leaves

"Heliodor Everett, no," Jo said, instinctively, when he said he needed to return to captivity. Jo wanted to be careful when talking to him. She didn't want to make him break even more. But it was the first thing that came to mind. Jo wasn't good at being careful with her words. They were better with just steamrolling right into things and speaking their heart. "You are better than the person in there. He hurts people for fun. I could see it on his face. You're..."

She took in a big, deep breath of air.

"If you have hurt people before," Jo said, "I can't imagine you doing it like that. And if you did have to hurt them, you wouldn't find it fun. You don't belong trapped away somewhere where you're not allowed to be yourself. You deserve to be free."

“This is who I am, Jo!” Heliodor Everett tried to pull away from Jo, his wounds forgotten. “I’m just a coward who’s too scared to die, so I just hurt everyone else instead. And maybe I don’t enjoy it, but that doesn’t stop me. Because I’m a coward.”

He clenched his jaw. “I have no hobbies. I have no friends. I lost my wife. A man is what his life is, and mine is just the same thing over and over again. Listen to the lords make the plans, pretend to consider disagreeing, and go along with everything they say. Because I know what will happen if I don’t. And I’m terrified.”

When Heliodor Everett pulled away, Jo's first thought was to lean forward. Then she realized how overwhelming that might be and pulled back to give him more space.

"There's nothing wrong with being afraid," Jo said. They looked down at their lap. "When you got hurt earlier, I got scared. I got scared when I realized who that man looked for. I spent the entire Dark Year afraid that each day would be my last, and I keep waking in the morning wondering if my current life was just a beautiful dream I finally woke up from."

They looked up at him.

"You could come with us to Mutopia," they offered again. "We'll help you find hobbies there. I'll help you make even more friends because you already have three—me, Kyle, and Estella Fay. I'll show you all the best places on the island. We'll go to the beach, and bug Kyle at the gardens, and go look into Cybele's forest, too."

Heliodor Everett shook his head. “But why? Why me when I’m so…?” He gestured vaguely, frustratedly. He couldn’t explain it, couldn’t put into words everything he was.

“Estella Fay would be a much better fit. She’s… she’s like you. You like her.”

Jo gave an awkward half shrug.

"I don't really know how to describe it," Jo said. "I just feel like we click. Sometimes you just end up in situations and become friends with them because of it, and this is one of those times."

Jo faltered.

"...I don't have a lot of friends," she admitted. "Kyle's my main one. I joke a lot that we have a textbook case of co-dependency. I don't think we would have gotten through the Dark Year if we didn't have each other."

They gave a tiny smile.

"But Kyle's really popular," Jo said. "He's friends with Cybele, and Chatterbox, and Marvellous, too. There's also this one girl at the garden that I'm pretty sure has a crush on him. So maybe we'd have to ask him all of his tricks, instead of me trying my best to get the both of us friends."

Heliodor Everett blinked. “I… I don’t understand you. I keep trying. But nothing you say clicks. It doesn’t make sense. You don’t make sense.”

He shook his head, burying his face in his hands. “I’m trying to figure you out, but I can’t. I don’t understand you.”

"I am a confusing person," Jo joked.

They rubbed the back of their neck.

"I think it might take awhile," Jo said, a little more seriously. "You've lived your entire life one way, and now I'm suddenly butting in telling you everything you've ever known is wrong. If I was in your shoes, I'd have trouble understanding that, too."

“I don’t understand how it could be wrong. I don’t…”

He watched as the bandage continued to loosen. “Well, I either need to be bandaged or you need to leave me here. And we… both know what you’re going to pick.”

"Yup," Jo said, turning her attention back to Heliodor Everett's injuries. "Your bandages."

They grabbed onto the one they had been tying before they started talking.

"Just let me know when it's too tight," Jo said, and then carefully started to adjust it again.

Heliodor Everett watched carefully, watching Jo gently bandage his wound.

“That’s good. Right there.” He tensed slightly, still expecting Jo to retaliate.

Jo stopped.

"Okay," they said. "If it suddenly feels too tight later, I can loosen it."

She turned her attention back to the pile of potential bandages she had put together.

"I'll move onto your other cuts now," they added. "Once your injuries are all taken care of, we can go find Kyle and Estella Fay. I hope we're near them..."

He shrugged. “We have no idea how large this country is. Or if we’re even in the same country…”

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I got us into this disaster. And, I know words aren’t enough, but-“

"It's not your fault," Jo insisted. "If they wanted to kidnap us, they were going to do it no matter where we went. You were just unlucky enough to walk into the house first."

“But I could’ve… done something.” He shook his head. “If we were together, we could’ve fought back.” He frowned. “Or… I don’t know. But, I’m the one who stumbled into their trap.”

Jo shook their head.

"I don't think it's that easy," she said. "I think he would have found a way to sneak up on us no matter what. We're not from here. We don't know the terrain at all. He could have just as easily stood behind a house and snatched up whoever was at the front or back of our group."

Jo gave him a tiny smile.

"But at least we got caught together," Jo said. "Instead of one of us being on our own."