I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

"Yeesh." Valeri winced. "That sounds-- complicated. Anyways, it looks like Joe never got over Khalil... he has pictures of him all over his walls."

Cody frowned. "I'd hoped he'd moved on..." He heaved a deep sigh. "Unfortunately, that was a foolish hope... Joe only got worse after he became obsessed with wizardry. He thinks magic can solve all his problems."

"Hence the love potion." Valeri's eyes widened. "Joe also asked us to pick up a suit for a special event, and the other WANNABES-- members of Joe's fan club, long story-- said it was for a wedding... you don't think he knows where Khalil is and is forcing Khalil to marry him, do you?"

Cody froze. “If he does and he’s going to force Khalil to marry him, or anyone, I’ll-! I’ll-“ He yelled and hit his temple with his wrist. Tears bubbled in the corners of their eyes. “I have to save him. I’ll go to Joe myself and demand to know what he did with my husband.”

Vendetta stood up. “You can’t!”

“Why not?” Cody smoothed his hair. “Why shouldn’t I save him?”

"The WANNABES will literally kill you. Most of them idolize Josephinzo, and they're self-proclaimed enemies of 'Malacoda the Dark Sun.'" Valeri watched with concern as Cody's face crumpled.

"I don't care."

"At least make a plan first," Dawn said softly.

Cody squeezed his eyes shut. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Showing up on Joe’s doorstep and dying isn’t going to help Khalil.” He collapsed onto a chair. “But I need to do something.”

“Then send us in your stead.” Vendetta straightened their shoulders. “Joe doesn’t know what we know. He’ll think we’re on his side. We’ll find out where Khalil is, and we’ll come back with him.”

"Do you promise?" Cody glanced up desperately.

"Yes." Valeri looked at Cody in sympathy. "We'll find your spouse. And hopefully get Joe to confess as well..."

Dawn hummed. "The V siblings are quite capable."

"Thank you." Cody rubbed his face tiredly. "I'm sorry Joe dragged you into this mess..."

Vendetta shook their head. “I’m sorry he caused this mess.” They took a deep breath. “We’ll be back soon.”

Vendetta threw down the portal and stepped threw, putting on a fake grin. “Josephinzo! We found the magic key for Malacoda the Dark Sun.”

Josephinzo finished scribbling something and turned around. "Oh, wonderful! Where is it?"

Valeri smirked. "Well, first you've got to answer a few questions for us. Like whether you're planning on forcing Khalil to marry you."

"Wha-- forcing, no!" Josephinzo frowned. "Where did you get that info from?" The cloak flapped madly on the coatrack.

Vendetta smacked them on the shoulder. “Valeri!” They took a deep breath. “Malacoda thinks you kidnapped Khalil and are making a love potion to marry him.”

Dusk chuckled. “I can’t say I blame him considering the… minor obsession.”

They cloak flapped wildly around.

Vendetta frowned. “Look, tell us where Khalil is or your cloak will.”

Josephinzo raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "You both are being awfully bold in your accusations."

"Don't try to deny anything." Valeri glared at the wizard, then turned to their sword. "Dawn, would you mind cutting the cloak free?"

"Gladly." Dawn zipped over to the coatrack and sliced through the cloak's bonds.

Josephinzo screamed and flung himself forward trying to grab the cloak. The cloak slipped past his fingers, rushing towards Vendetta and Valeri. Josephinzo scrambled to his feet. “Give it back to me! The cloak is mine!”

Vendetta blocked the cloak. “No, it isn’t. It’s going to lead us to Khalil.”

Valeri quickly activated the portal again. "Alright, cloak, where do we go?" The cloak flew through the portal, and Valeri followed. Josephinzo lunged at the edge of the cloak, but Dawn gently slapped his hand away with their hilt, then followed the siblings into the portal.

Once Valeri stepped out the other side, they looked around, then glanced at Vendetta. "Wait, isn't this just Cody's house again?"

The cloak slammed against the door.

“Hey! Careful.”

The cloak slammed against the door again.

Cody opened the door. “What-“

The cloak launched itself into his arms.

"Uhh... cloak, that's Cody, not Khalil." Valeri looked at Cody and the cloak in confusion.

Cody staggered backwards under the enthusiastic flapping of the cloak. "Wh-why don't you all come in again?"

Once they were seated in the living room, the cloak comfortably resting on Cody's shoulders, Valeri said, "I thought the cloak would lead us to Khalil?" She took a chip and scooped up some dip. "Oh, wow! This is really good."

Vendetta groaned. “I’m sorry, Cody. We promised-“

“You did.” Cody leaned his head on the cloak. “You did.”

Dusk looked around. “Am I the only one confused?”

Cody gently guided the cloak into his arms settling most of it on his lap. “Dark blue and covered in stars. I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”

Spoiler

Did I just make Cody quote the gayest line in Song of Achilles by Madeleine Miller? Yes. Yes I did.

If Dawn had eyes, they would've widened in realization. "The cloak is Khalil..."

"O-oh! Um." Valeri looked at the cloak. "I didn't know... uh, sorry for treating you like a sentient cloak instead of a person..."

The cloak seemed to shiver in laughter. He seemed a lot happier with Cody than with the wizard.

Spoiler

XD Well, it's very fitting. And poetic.