Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (part 8)

Ky took a breath, still not sure if she'd said the right thing or not. But he didn't seem offended. Hopefully he knew that this was best for all of them. She followed behind, still very confused as to what this entire interaction meant.

Gaius kept on in silence, wracking his brains for what else to say. That hadn't worked out, and he really didn't want to talk about feelings with her. Maybe she would talk. She liked talking, right. Maybe if he let the silence drag on long enough she would start a conversation herself.

What the actual fuck was happening right now?

It felt like he was trying to distract her like you would a child. She'd found kids were pretty quick to forget they were hurt, even if they were legitimately injured, if you could make them laugh or interest them in something else. But she quickly forced herself to shake away that similarity. It would only make her feel like he was juvenilizing her, which would make her angry, and would make this go badly for all of them.

No. He was coming from a good spot -- or, at least, attempting to help. Which she could appreciate.

She just wished he'd make it less damn awkward.

Gaius resisted the urge to glance back at her. He would be patient and wait. He was good at that; always had been. But as pleasant as the cool air was, it and his leg were wearing on his patience slowly. He could certainly outlast Ky, but it wasn't going to be a pleasant walk for him by any means.

Ky flushed.

Or was he? Or was he just trying to force her to squirm in silence, like he had during the tour?

It didn't seem he had any intention of starting a conversation.

And she was still so confused about what she was supposed to be getting from all this. Did he expect her to say something? Was this his way of giving her a chance to apologize? Or was he going to get angry at her for apologizing? Or... well...

She was a bit frustrated that he was playing a game she didn't know the rules to. It seemed like a psychological game designed to torment her. That, or he was just taking his dog for a walk, hoping that exercise and sunlight would calm her down -- since there was a little bit of that left, before it tried to kill her for four months.

He wondered if Rönn was about. Probably not; there were guards up on the walls. The Marrow Man would be avoiding this place unless absolutely necessary. Gaius was still eager to write about him, to interview him. Perhaps he'd signal him sometime soon and then they could talk. He glanced toward the South wall.

Ky's chest was painfully tight to the point it didn't want to let her breathe. She followed his gaze but didn't have any idea what it meant. It wasn't like he was going to let her out anytime in the next year. Five years. Whatever.

All she knew was that she couldn't handle the silent, dreadful anticipation any longer. She'd far, far rather he yelled than drag her along in silence. She took a shaky breath, trying to think of how to provoke him into doing just that. "...I apologize for my outburst at breakfast. I understand it was inappropriate."

There. That should do it. Make him upset at her for being nice.

Finally. "It was inappropriate of the child to make that comment," Gaius replied. "But she's young and didn't know any better. Your outburst was warranted, I think. Emotions are running high, understandably."

Ky nodded, grateful that he wasn't angry at her for either matter -- the explosion or the apology. But that was also the only topic she really had to talk about, and wasn't sure what to say next.

"Tomhas will give you a foal in the spring, then?" he asked after a pause.

"...I think so," she murmured. "I... just wanted to be allowed to train one -- I wasn't asking for a gift. But, I..." She sighed softly. "I don't know. Maybe it sounded as if I was. I didn't mean it that way, though."

"I expect it didn't. Tomhas often takes things to mean he should go out of his way to be generous. I worry sometimes that that will bleed into his politics. You asked for very little, in my opinion. You could have asked for more."

“I don’t want more.” Ky shook her head, though it did make her feel better to have Tomhas’s own brother confirm that she wasn’t wheedling. She hesitated for a moment, trying to think of how to express herself. To be direct. He’d asked her for that. Multiple times. “… I watched them, you know. All the peasants who begged and tried to prey upon the sympathies of their rulers with sob stories in an attempt to get money from them. That’s… not what I’m trying to do. But I fear that’s what it seems like I’m doing. Or…” She sighed again, remembering Tasia’s words. She knew fully well Tasia was a child. Children said incorrect things all the time. She shouldn’t be letting her get to her. And yet she was. “It’s not why I wanted to be adopted. I’d have wanted it even if they were poor… it may have even made me less anxious that way. So it’d be proof I’m not trying to be a leech. I don’t want their money; I want them.”

"I believe that comes across." He tilted his head. "I know honesty when I see it, or I like to think so. You don't strike me as the sort to ever beg." She was going out of her way to the detriment of her own health to be that way, in his opinion. "Those who do beg do it for a reason, though. I think the ends justify the means in that case."

Ky hesitated. His assurance made her feel a tiny bit better again. Perhaps this talk was worthwhile after all.

She didn’t want to argue with him — but it took her a moment to consider what he said. She had no respect for the beggars. It was interesting that he did. Or at least seemed to. “I guess so… I don’t know. Papa always said you should give help; never ask for it. It’s not okay to try to take someone else’s money away from them.”