Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (part 8)

Why was she incapable of selling herself to him? It was frustrating. Why hadn’t that worked?

“I know,” she said quickly. “It wasn’t.” Kind of was. But she didn’t blame him for it. He was right. And he wasn’t cruel about it. He just had no emotional intelligence whatsoever. And that was okay. “I… agree. I was trying not… I was doing fine until she sabotaged me.” That might be dramatic language. It wasn’t as if Tasia was trying to upset her. “But I… overreacted, for sure.”

"Again, that's forgivable considering the circumstances. And sabotage requires premeditation, as far as I know." He paused outside the Grove gate. "May we stop for a moment?"

“Of course.” Ky dipped her head, glancing at the grove. He was right. She was being too harsh about a child. None of this was actually Tasia’s fault. And she’d apologize to her for it. But she wasn’t about to say that. That’d just give him opportunity to poke at the root of the cause, if she admitted she didn’t actually blame a child.

Gaius rested against the stone gateway, leaning his cane against his thigh. "All things considered, have you been settling in well?" he asked after a moment. "Is there anything that concerns you?"

Everything concerned her. Losing Zander. Her parents. Four months of hell. Having a terrifying trainer that he was inevitably going to force her to pick. The risk of destroying her room. Not to mention the fact that she had already pissed him off and they both knew she was going to continue to, no matter how hard she tried. “No.” She shook her head. “Everything is very nice here.”

(Almost to 100!)

"Mm. But?"

(It’s 89 not 99 lol)

“But nothing.” Ky shook her head quickly. Then hesitated. He was going to call her a liar. Because she was. It was better to give a softened truth so he didn’t drag the entirety of it out of her. “…I’m a little worried I’ll break something in the room… but hopefully not. I’m definitely trying not to.”

(True true)

"That room has withstood several guests more volatile than you," he assured her. "And as I recall there's very little you can break in there."

(But also yes haha it’s so gratifying to watch the page count go up. And we got in a very nice bingey last night!)

“There’s lots that could be stained,” she pointed out.

(Absolutely! I had a final today so I did worry I would be tired today but I feel great!)

"It can be washed out or replaced with ease," he said with a shrug.

(Oof — glad to hear you’re feeling good tho! How did it go?)

Ky nodded. “That’s true… I’m still going to be careful.”

She’d realized with horror a few days ago that her monthly bleed would be most likely to damage things. She was thankfully a late bloomer so she’d only had to hide two months in the stables. Which was complicated. But then Aleth had kept her under such constant stress that she only bled occasionally, and very irregularly at that. She was vaguely aware it was normal for women, but had never had anyone she could ask about it. She sure as hell wasn’t going to ask Aleth. Her cycle was coming back now and she was too embarrassed to ask anyone how to deal with it or how often to expect it or anything else. What if she stained the sheets? And had to admit that? She’d die from embarrassment.

(I think it went well! I'm surprised; biology isn't usually my thing)

(Wait this poor kiddo got never got her period education???)

Gaius dipped his head. Sara had been the same way when she came here--a little less so, and she wouldn't admit it directly to him. It took him months to figure out she was concerned about her moon blood ruining the expensive sheets. Was that what Ky was worried about?
No way in hell was he going to ask.

(Haha fair — I’m sure you did great tho!)

(Honestly just decided that on the spot, but I feel like it makes sense. She didn’t have a mom and got taken when she was 12, and then pretended to be a boy from that point on…)

(Also lmao at Gaius figuring it out)

Ky nodded, deciding she actively wanted to think about something else. Gaius was a mind reader. She didn’t want that on her mind for him to read.

(Poor sweetie
Her mom or Sara or Sera gonna fix that for sure)

"Is anything else bothering you?" he asked, deciding to steer them away from stains.

( <3 honestly she’s probably going to blush profusely and ask Sera for help because it’s blood and feels like something a doctor should fix haha but not if Rickard is around, so maybe Sara. We’ll see)

“No.” Ky shook her head, grateful to have something else to focus on, and yet anxious that they were heading back to that topic. She simply needed to lie. “I think that’s the main thing I’m worried about.”