Far From Home

James watched her carefully. Listened to her words, trying to perceive if there was anything else behind them. It seemed like she just wanted to be careful - preparing him, for his sake - but he didn't want her to be careless just for him.

At least, he'd thought it would be careless. But apparently, she'd... grown, in her powers.

There were two contesting parts of him that wanted to be both proud of her and worried for her. He felt like he didn't have enough information to really determine which one was appropriate, so the emotion ended up like a bulky knot in his chest. Unsettled, and uncomfortable.

He looked up at her, back at his food, then back at her again with slow movements.

"How far will you go back?" he asked.

Evaline was glad that James seemed to gradually be coming around to the idea. He just needed a bit more coaxing, but it was still at the back of her mind to do it anyways. She seriously doubted that he could actually dream it since magic didn't exist here, but she wanted to eliminate the possibility. It was better if he consented since this was for him anyways.

"How far would you like me to go back?" she asked, figuring he could have some semblance of control over the situation as well.

James stared down at his half-eat food for a moment, thinking. If Evaline really meant that she had better control of her powers...

He looked back up at her, and then reached over to a patch of grass, ripping it out of the ground. Before Evaline could do the math, he reached over and threw it up in her face.

"There. Take those few seconds back."

Evaline knew he was up to something when he ripped grass out of the ground before answering her question. She sat there unamused as the grass flew around her face and softly landed on the ground around her. A few pieces went on her food, but it didn't matter. She was going to go back anyways.

And she wanted to ask him a question before she did. Something she wondered, but didn't want to bring up in front of him.

"I will," she said as she nonchalantly brushed a few grass pieces back. "But before I do, I want to know something."

It felt a bit cowardly to ask him this before announcing she'd undo it, but at least he knew it was coming too. She looked back at him one last time to read him before and after she asked the question.

"Did you dream about all the times I went back, for the lizards and for Butch?"

James thought Evaline would just do it, but she didn't. Instead, she wanted to ask a question. For a moment she was going to undo.

Of course she would. He thought five years might make her a little less manipulative. Apparently not.

He stared back at her, his face blank and set in stone.

"You really haven't changed that much," he said lowly. "Have you?"

He paused, only for a second, to sigh and yank another piece of grass out of the ground. The strand was long, and he held both ends in each hand. He looked at the grass like he was inspecting it.

"I dreamt about all of it. Every time I died. Every time you died. Every time we both died. Every time we almost made it and then failed, be it escaping from lizards or the butcher. Not a minute was spared. So if you're wondering if I remember all of it, the answer is yes. I do. But you didn't want to talk about it, so I didn't bring it up."

He looked up at her.

"And for the record, I wish you would've asked me this after."

Evaline wasn't sure if James's first statement was supposed to be a jab or not, but she chose to ignore it. She instead looked up at James with steely eyes, trying to absorb as much information as she could before she erased it all.

Yes, she was essentially gambling that James did not have any power at all, but she was willing to take the risk, especially because she didn't think he could remember this at all. Not when magic didn't exist on Earth.

She chose to not visibly react at his words, even with his last sarcastic statement.

He was rightfully upset, but now she knew that. Now she knew that he did want to talk about this, even if it pained him. That was where they differed, and she wasn't sure they'd ever be able to see eye-to-eye on that.

But he remembered all of it. Every timeline.

That was all she wanted to know. If he remembered the escalation.

Because she sure didn't. She just knew she wanted to avoid it again.

"I have one last question," she said, still holding her stare and not replying to his responses. "Did you receive my very last message?"

James had looked back down at his food, thinking that would be the last of it, but she had another question. For a moment, as it was asked, he didn't move. He kept his eyes locked on his lap, and the strand of grass he was still holding. Weakly, he tossed it to the side and looked up at her.

Spoiler

Only for a moment, then he looked away again.

"Yes," he said. "Are you done now?"

That was it. That really was the last question, and Evaline should have melted this timeline away and go back to before James threw the grass at her.

But when she caught him briefly meeting her eyes and then looking away with hurt washed across his face, she knew it didn't just end there. Earlier he was upset and seemed eager to talk about the erased timelines she had undone for him five years ago, but now he seemed... mournful, or in grief, or guilty. And he didn't seem eager to talk about it.

Not that she was eager to talk about it either.

The expression went away as quick as it appeared.

Of all the memories, that one was the one she had the hardest time remembering. She didn't actively try to remember these memories, but that was because they were in her head and existing just fine, if not distant. But her last message to him...

It was a big blur, and she didn't know if it was because of her circumstances then and there or something else, but all she really knew was that she said something to him in hopes that he'd remember it. Now that he was here, a part of her was curious to know what it was she said. Another part of her would rather she close the book and not return to it.

She couldn't make up her mind, so she chose a bit of both: confirm that he did receive it, but not ask for details because it must have had somber undertones given his expression.

"No," she said firmly, but then paused for far too long as she tried to think of a response. She looked down at her food for the next words, suddenly losing the courage to keep her eye contact.

"I'm sorry if I've caused you pain," she said. "It won't happen again."

She closed her eyes, bracing herself to go back to before he threw the grass, thinking back on that moment and preparing herself. There was always a few seconds delay whenever she was trying to go back on by command.

James was staring blankly out into the grass.

"Neither of us can promise that with certainty," he said softly.

That was all Evaline managed to hear before the familiar tingling sensation returned and she felt the seconds rewinding about a minute. It always felt different whenever she was doing this on command. She felt more in control. More stable.

She chose to return to the present right after she asked her question of when he would like her to go back.

She kept a straight face, only indexing all the information that happened in the lost timeline and not letting it affect her.

James looked over at her then at the grass, about to reach over to rip it out of the dirt.

"You're about to throw that in my face and say, 'There, take those seconds back,'" she said nonchalantly. "No need to do it again."

James paused, mid-yank. He let go of his tension on the grass and pulled his hand away. It was eerily unsettling how she read his mind, but the feeling faded as she explained herself. She'd gone back already.

"Hm." He grabbed his fork. "Fine. Then it's over with. No more going back."

At least, not with him involved.

Evaline nodded, returning back to her food. Just seconds ago, the tension was thick in the air. It seemed to have all but disappeared now, and she didn't want to give anything away.

"Let me know if you ever dream of throwing grass at me," she said instead, letting the drop by itself.

"I'm sure it will be thrilling," he said dryly, taking another bite of food.

"It may not even take place in dream form," she went on, now thinking out loud. "But since you didn't see or feel anything just now, then it's unlikely that you'd be able to see different timelines around you, like a daydream."

She glanced up at him. "You didn't feel anything just now, right?"

James sighed and half-rolled his eyes.

"Aside from the slightly jarring feeling of having someone predict what you're about to do, no. I didn't feel anything," James said.