Dragons, Dystopians, and Denial

Jerica smiled a bit, despite herself, at his comparison. She doubted that was quite true after he'd just watched her slaughter a dozen Nykerians, but the sentiment was nice.

"Wow," she said quietly. "No one says that."

Her mind flicked back to the Alherian ball all those years ago, right after she'd killed the Physician. She'd only been eight and super excited to make new friends. And all the other children ran from her while the adults called her a monster and told her they didn't want her kind here. When she was a child.

She wasn't a child anymore.

The fact that someone was taking pity on her was still just... shocking.

Elias returned the small smile, slipping his hands in pockets. "I guess what's why I'm here, then," he said quietly then looked out into the ground in front of him.

He felt like he should say something more, but he wasn't sure if there was anything else to say that will help the situation or help make Jerica believe him. He didn't want to make this about himself. This was about her.

But maybe it would help if he shared a little bit about himself? It sounded like she needed a reason to believe him, especially if these were words she didn't hear often, or never at all. He sighed.

"I'm saying this because I wished someone would have said the same to me," he started slowly. "Maybe the the king or War Lord doesn't have empathy, but that doesn't mean you should be like them. It's what makes them the monster, not you. You're just a pawn in their plan."

"Derik isn't a monster," she said firmly. "He's a good War Lord. He just... doesn't have any more control over the king than I do."

She sighed. How different her life would have been if Derik had been the king instead. Maybe then she'd have gotten the chance to sit around playing princess instead of running her body into the ground to learn how to swing a sword when she was barely taller than one.

"What's your story, then?" she asked, looking towards Elias when she realized she'd been staring at Evan's neck. He clearly had more depth to him than she'd given him credit for. Who knew? Maybe there was some version of Levin in Elias's realm that did horrible things. Maybe he'd seen -- and done -- things that haunted him. "You a pawn in someone's game on Earth?"

Elias decided to not let linger on her sentiment towards Derik. It wasn't like he had any, really; he was just curious to know Jerica's relationship with people who controlled her. The people he knew in the military were ruthless people who always did was was asked, even if it was wrong. Even if it was terrible.

Jerica did kill all those people in the town, but she was only defending herself. That was different.

She did kill all the people she was ordered to kill, but she didn't have a choice. That, he could understand.

She said she would never hurt an innocent person unless she had to. That, he could also understand, and that was what made her different than his comrades. The typical military he knew wouldn't care if the people they hurt were innocent or not.

Jerica asked Elias for his story, and it was only right to open up too, especially since she had opened up. It was just... this wasn't easy. He was used to keeping it in for so long...

"If I'm a pawn in a game of chess, then you're the knight," Elias said slowly, deciding to settle on a metaphor. She hoped she didn't know too much about chess, though. He only really knew the names of the pieces.

"I'm not really anyone special, and it's not like a lot of people know about me. I'm just a guy in the military," he continued on, sighing and walking towards Mellie to pet her.

"I'm not a knight." She smiled to herself, even though she knew that's not how he meant it. She'd argued that she deserved knighthood for her service to the throne, but she'd gotten shot down hard.

Still, his analogy made sense. She was a more prominent piece of this puzzle than most people were. Probably closer to playing queen than she was knight if they were going to use chess as an analogy. She was Levin's singularly most powerful weapon -- the thing he could send anywhere to do anything, to keep him safe no matter how little he deserved it.

"Why do you stay, then?" she asked, getting a bit more serious. "If no one knows who you are? Why can't you just un-enlist?"

Maybe knight wasn't the best word since it implied virtuous intentions, but Elias decided to let it drop.

He pet Mellie's mane, glad that she was calm under this tense conversation.

"You don't have to be someone famous to not have a choice," he said softly. "I didn't have a choice but to enlist, either. Un-enlisting isn't an option."

There was a certain gravity to his tone that made her think she already knew the answer, but she couldn’t help but ask anyway. “I don’t suppose you could just defect?”

Elias glanced up at Jerica. She was easier to look at without the blood now.

"No," he said.

“Why?” she asked crisply. “Did your king round up the boys in your township? Why do you matter to your war lord?”

If they weren't in the middle of a tense and serious conversation, Elias may have laughed at that question. It was humorous to think that she thought his situation was anything similar to hers. Rounding up boys, having a war lord. Wouldn't that be a sight.

"There is no king, there is no rounding up boys, and there is no war lord," he said, focusing back on petting Mellie. "It's kind of hard to explain without going through the entire history of how things came to be, but I've told you that everyone on Earth has some sort of power. And we all have jobs based on our functions. Societal functions. Some have the freedom of choosing from a list, some don't."

He took a deep sigh. "Mine just happens to be a soldier."

“But why would healing yourself doom you to being a solider?” She wasn’t even going to comprehend their government if they didn’t even have a king. Fiefdoms? But no war lord... it didn’t make sense. “Wouldn’t you be more useful in a dangerous solitary job? Like... fireman?”

It was strange to talk about this out loud. Elias didn't talk about this in his hometown until it was too late, and no one in the military questioned why he was there because they didn't question authorities. In fact, this was probably the first time he ever had this conversation with anyone. And it was with Jerica, of all people. Not even from Earth.

"I once had a friend who was going to be a fireman," he said, un-dusting some old memories he hadn't thought about in a while. "He had a few jobs to choose from, and he decided early that he would help fight fires because he'd be rather good at it. That was because his power involved fire, specifically the kinetic and thermal conversation power I told you about. I couldn't do that because there are others who already fill that role."

He sighed again. "No job really fit me. But... the closest relevant is the military."

“But WHY do you have to use your power? People don’t have powers at all but we still do jobs. Why not just become a... I don’t know. Tax collector? That takes literally no skill. Or... a merchant? Fisherman? Unless you’re an assassin I don’t see why healing yourself is that great of an asset to your king... or Barron.. or whatever it is that you have.”

"I don't know, Jerica," Elias said a little too curtly, but then immediately retracted. "I wish I don't have to use my power. I wish I didn't have a power. That's why I'm here, right?"

Deep breath out. He had to have more patience. He had to learn to be patient again.

"After the DNA Wars, Earth descended into chaos, anarchy, and violence," he continued with a calmer voice. "I used to think that the government and the law ensured peace and harmony to keep the peace between everyone with powers, but I realized too late that it didn't. We don't have freedom. I don't have freedom. I just have to do what I'm told, because that's my only purpose."

“I don’t know, Jerica.” She may not understand much about Earth, but she KNEW that tone. She was annoying him. That was clear.

“It’s not your only purpose.” It couldn’t be. Because if it was his then it was hers too, and if their only purpose was fighting and death then there wasn’t a point in either of them being alive at all. “It’s just what they make you do. But you’re here now. You don’t have to listen to them. What’s your purpose now?”