these characters can see you;

mmmrhhh I have two versions of this. They're both super rough. The shape poem, I dun even ;-; making one change is a logistical nightmare. But this is NaPo, I'ma just drop it here and go.

We catch trains like colds.
Heads turned around
senses blocked by crowds and noise,
barreling through fog
Hello St. Louis. Let it pass.
Hello Belleville. Let it pass.
When you come to something, you stop
to let it pass. Shield your head,
Sparta. This here's a waiting game
Engines plack-a-plack and I know
there are routes enough falling out of pockets
bundled fears and heavy burdens
you end up frozen
in a thought that never ends and you wonder if
we are not more automatons than humans?

There are more neurons in our brains than stars
of the Milky Way- traveling the speed of light
and constantly in chatter as the wheels beat the steel
tracks again and again my grandmother's homeland
swirling the wind a hiss of cicadas like erratic waves
crashing towards the city of fields and numb hands we
rush, the same way trains rush the same way
I'm trained to the stops at the station hoping
for a payoff hoping

that at the end of the line, I can reach you.

This trip.

It's about knowing when it is now safe to cross
taking another moment to see what was already there
where secrets are nothing to stand in the way of vast landscapes
a beating resilience, warm as summer rain
the land embraces
and all of our sick
and our germs and all of us
running from colds,
from ourselves
all of us how we run

I really don't like ripping out or drawing on my book pages, but at least I can justify this destruction if I used one of John Updike's pieces - I cannot stand him So I picked A&P, random page and I actually had a few directions this could have gone -

I had a couple of ideas for this page:
pineapple 49c cold as God made them
nubbled, heavy in my hand
but/ this isn't the beach
my voice kind of flat and numb
the way it / coats / on / water /
it's real
But this isn't the beach
all these years
makes no difference
We want you decent
We /are/ decent

What the others want is juvenile
All this while / shook/
not wanting to miss a thing


ultimately, I chose:


her hands
as God made them
nubbled pink
in my hand
touch
for the first time
she was so close
we stand around
holding the color of water
her lower lip pushing
a place
in / me /
as gently as peeling a peach



I recommend if you are to undergo this kind of thing - scan quickly and very lightly circle ;3


Then sketch on a separate piece of paper what you want to do for the art :3 I was able to sort of sketch and then kind of guesstimate base on where the words were how it was all going to look like. Then I cut out the outline.

Then I traced it over the page.

The next step - the coloring part -

good LAWD DON'T BE LIKE ME.

I realized I can't color inside lines. I'm joking. I am a good artist, I can TOTALLY color inside lines. It's not like I'm a CHILD or anything ffff! Soooo I messed up in a bunch of places and had to actually cut out a few words of the plan NOT MY FAULT.

I was just in a rush. Yes. My hands were shaking because of the coffee, not because I suck :3 (I recommend to not take coffee or sugar before starting on this) and DON'T ARTWORK AROUND CATS. I think my cat was too into the sharpie smell. I mean, not me. I totally was not into the sharpie smell.




So when you color GO SLOW and give your words breathing room. I realized that the sharpie ink kind of spreads out like water and EVEN COLORING INSIDE THE LINES AS BEST I COULD - THE SHARPIE STILL BLED EVERYWHERE.

SO YES my advice is to be very careful



What're you looking at ? SCRAM KITTY!

This is all badly cheeky and nonserious.