Removed

Removed.

Sorry.

OOOOH! I love this! It's so weird and haunting and everything that OMG! It's not what I expected at all, but that's fine since it totally exceeded my expectations! And the ending sentence? Pure brilliance!

cross the street to the only ally way

Should be "alleyway."

It’s sirens were crying

Should be "Its."

Excellent job though!

Yeah, I loved the atmosphere in this piece. It was camouflaged at the start with the opening, but it grew as the piece went on and I loved it.

Nice job!!! I really liked your writing it drew me in and make me think at the end. I especially liked your last line as it was awesome!

Interesting. I very much liked the gritty aspect to it. Has a very male feel to it though, which considering your a girl, is an achievement.

Well done.

LOL I'll add my praise too - very cool story. One thing you might want to fix; it's "in a manner of speaking" not "a matter of speaking" as you have it now. Otherwise, awesome. Kudos to you!

I really like this as well, so dark and gritty but then i gues ultimately quite real. Sounds like it could almost be an anecdote to the insainty of a world that doesn't care.

It's the sort of thing I can see myself thinking about days after I've read it. It sucks you and and really doesn't let go.

I like it!

ya i like it too it is true and i luved ur last line soo um... by...

I really like this too. It makes you think about society in general, and it's cool how you got your point across in a story this short. [/quote]