Paste!

*Nothing*

I can call myself a problem-solving person.

*Still Nothing*

Gävle

*Nothing*

Happy Birthday!!! 🎂

As a writer, I'm more interested in what people tell themselves happened rather than what actually happened.
— Kazuo Ishiguro

Starlight



Stars are falling

Like balls of lightning

That only last a few seconds

And then they zap away

In an explosion

Of light and heat and speed

Like the start of the Universe

Condensing again



And maybe

That’s what this all is

A little ball of lightning that exploded

And now we’re just the energy

In their electricity

You know

The stuff that electrocutes them

And hurts them



Or are we just the radio waves in between

Because nothing’s solid

Solids still have spaces in between

Watch them vibrate

Watch them shake

Soon enough

They’ll fall apart

And break



So are we really the liquids of the oceans

Is blood just stinging saltwater with iron dye

Are we really that distasteful

Just floating upside down

So it’s easier to breathe

When you’re in water

And roaring

Because you’re the rushing wave



Couldn’t you imagine our little pocket

O stuff me into your back pocket

It won’t be too tight

Because it always falls apart

And then I just flow like electricity

Dangerous energy

Is the Universe just a moody teenager

In their own reality



Splintered



Should my finger look like this

Still dirty from the splinter

Not sore

But some really red bare skin

And that black thing seems like a splinter of the splinter



Should my finger look like this

I’m just a little worried

I’m no medic

But shouldn’t it be plastered

And hidden away from the moisture

That the germs will thrive in



Should my finger look like this

Or is it still healing

Because it only happened today

And it was pretty sore

But it’s still close to bleeding


And bright, bright red



Degrading



I’ve spent a lifetime of suffering

And I’m not even fifteen



Is all this sorrow because

I’m at home, alone with parents



And my brother’s with a friend

And I’m thinking



I wish I had a friend

Not just some people I talk to



Or someone I help with Math

And talk to because our parents are friends



And because I just keep saying hi

But she never says hi



If I say how are you

It’s always neutral



Neutral for who

Because I’m not really that good



I’m down in the dumps

Because my life’s scattered all around me



Social awkwardness and mispronunciation

And maybe anxiety, maybe whatever



And maybe you should acting like the world isn’t ending, you’re great at acting

Because you’re bored of drawing when you could do anything else



And act like it’s okay

Because I’m trying to help you, because you’re great at acting



But you aren’t helping anyone

My marks are only so good you know



All those hours helping you

Took away from my studying



But no appreciation

It was an expectation



But I had to help

I had to act happy



Not that you’ll ever know

When I get tired I rant for no reason



I’ve been awake 15 hours

Less than an hour before wake up and then I need to write another poem



Because only this is too little

Everything needs to be over the top



And everything needs to be just right

Or it’s wrong



Don’t you see everything sprawled on the floor

And how I want to clean up



But it’s too small to pick up

And I can see every germ wriggling



And all the stress

Because I was just sick



And all the stress

Because I need to clean this mess



And all the stress

Because somewhere in there



Beneath dresses and skirts and tears

Is my identity like a shrivelled mound



And this poem goes on

And even though I don’t know why



It just never seems to stop

Why do I want it to stop



Stop



I’m Stuck Again

Can’t you understand
I’m not sure where I’m going to next
Can’t you understand
The world seems so big without you by my side

And every time I cry to sleep
I’m dying to meet you again
And every time I freak out
I’m dying to find the right word

So just help me along a bit
Protect me from all the pain
Nobody has anything to gain
So just help me again

Protect me from all the pain
Because nobody has anything to gain
My world seemed so lost when you threw me away like dust
Was there ever anything to us anyway

A voice echoed down the halls
Its booming sound rattled the glasses in the cabinets
And delicately painted porcelain clattered to the ground in shattered pieces

My footsteps echoed on the cold wooden floor
And my hands tore at the vintage wallpaper
The heavy sound of my breathing in my ears

Was this how it always been as a child
Back when I had hidden
Knowing the giant would soon come if I couldn't make it to the bath in time

I remember the fear, I remember the thrill
But I don't remember the heavy feeling in my stomach
As I close the door behind me with a bang

I see the portrait of me in the foyer
But I keep on going
Until I fall down on the dewy lawn

And cry salty tears
I'm scared, isn't it that
Not that old childhood fear but a real fear

Fear of the unknown
Would those gnarled hands wrench into his rusty old car
Would he just strangle me

Was this the end
Are these my last words
"Goodbye cruel world."

I swipe away the tears
With a soft hand
And whisper again

Hell
I'm coming
Heaven... I'm not worth it, am I

Happy birthday!~ 🍰

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
— Mark Twain

Live your life how you want, but don't confuse drama with happiness.
— Ron, Parks & Rec

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

Spoiler

BOOM