PMD: Seventeen Plates DT 3

He isn't that scary . He's just half crazy

...I feel like I should post this here instead of on my wall. It's more important if you guys hear it.

So. My Father died yesterday. In Angola. The country in which he was born, but also the country he had fled in order to find himself a better life in France. And when I say fled, I mean that he took part in Angola's bloody civil war, became an ace shooter like so many others, got his helicopter shot down like the rest of his unit, ended up being the sole survivor of said unit, walked for 5 days and 5 nights under the African sun and moon without eating and barely drinking, then used the opportunity of people believing he was dead to take the first plane he could find and flee towards France. Then he learned the language there, met my Mom - who had also fled from Angola because of that stupid war - and, well, Bro and I were born.
Kinda ironic, right? It's like he left Death waiting along with his country, and when he came back there, it was only to take a hit from that deadly Scythe again. And this time, he wasn't in the mood to dodge it. It's also ironic that I've been wanting this... emotional control for so long, I've been wanting to overcome my anger issues for so long, and now, here I stand, my mother crying, unable to sleep because of how sad she is, and I can't even feel any different or be comforting. Way to get my wish granted. But hey, at least the sting is there, reminding me that I'm sad, too. Kinda weird for a guy like me to feel relief about being sad.

Anyway.

His body had flawlessly recovered from the sickness that had struck him, but his mind... wasn't in the game at all. In fact, I just learned today that he had been in depression for several days, and that he pretty much died alone. Whoop dee doo.
Well, as I said, I'm at least glad that it stings - it proves that I care at least a little. Now... It'll probably get worse as the days go on, but I don't mind. I've decided. I've decided that he'll never escape MY world. Heaven or Hell, he's coming with me. Since he finally freed himself from the burden of Life, he has all the time he needs to watch the gloriously ridiculous spectacle of my life: one of the children he left behind, who was always said to "look a lot like him, physically and mentally".
I don't give a damn if he died alone and unhappy: I'm gonna add him in the greatest creation I'll come up with. Book, game, drawing, I don't care. He was a brilliant bastard along and yet a tender father - when his anger issues didn't kick in, that is. But now his memory is mine to toy around with.


There. I said it. I just wanted to share it here because you guys and gals of PMD are my family of writing buddies. Of course we've had our disputes, jokes and good/bad moments, but that's okay. I don't mind, 'cause I love you all despite any flaw you might have. I have flaws too, after all.
@Robusto, you've created something marvelous, and I'm glad I was allowed to be a part of it up until now. Just one thing, though: I think I'm going to add my father's death in Twinkiel's storyline, as well as a song that I'd like you to add in the Twinkiel related songs, please. This one:

Spoiler

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It's... one of my father's favorite song, and frankly, when I look at Trinity, now I can't help but smile upon imagining my father sitting on that bed-thing in the cowboy's place.

I can't say "rest in peace", because he didn't have the chance to die... well, in peace. Despair is what killed him, actually. But it's okay. For now, I'm just going to be playing the game he offered me for my birthday, which was Sonic Generations. Lots of great Mods in that game, too - Dad always liked to twist things up.
@Charizard821 Don't worry, we're still gonna talk. Just give me a few days. I need to remain active in some way, as I don't like mourning over things.



Bye, guys. You're all awesome. And @Buggiedude2340, tagging you here. Just wanna make sure you don't feel bad missing that, as we all know you're still alive and kickin'

I made my first gif!

Spoiler

YWS Dayum.gif (1.2 MiB) Viewed 129 times

PS: This has nothing to do with the above post. Tort and I discussed it yesterday.

Above post or not, seriousness or not, death involved or not, a glorious gif is a glorious gif.

And this, @AstralHunter my dear, is a glorious. Freakin'. Gif.

You and your family have my condolences, Tort. If you need anyone to talk to, (and I speak for all of us, I think) the rest of us PMDers are more than ready to listen.

Agreed buggy. We're all here for you tort. If there's anything you feel like you need to get off your chest we'd all be happy to listen and do our best to help.

I really appreciate all the concern and support, guys. This is where it gets kinda awkward for me because whenever something like this happens, I tend to think that I might be overplaying things and that it doesn't really matter all that much. It's a self confidence thing, where I worry about, y'know, acting all attention seek-y. I try not to. Sorry if I am though, I don't mean to.

Anyways, now that that disclaimer is out of the way, a lot of you seem to be suggesting not writing at all for a while. Which I WOULD do, if I weren't committed to an amazing SB that relies on all of its posters to forward the plot. (That might actually be part of the problem, as well. I hate feeling trapped or forced to do things. For example, I used to play the piano, until I was forced to practice every single day for an hour. I developed a hatred for it, which is quite sad since I have a natural gift for it. I just find it hard to want to do things when I'm told I have to do them. Does that make sense?) Of course, not much can be done about that because we HAVE to forward the plot. So I'm really at a loss as to what I should do. :/

@TheSilverFox, I thought about that. The best thing I could come up with is the loss of my girlfriend, and my subsequent plummet in self confidence and esteem. The breakup doesn't really hurt anymore, but the confidence remains seriously damaged. I don't really draw a connection between that and my writing though.

@Tortwag, oooh.... we do need to talk. Clearly, we've both got some stuff on our minds and it's always best to talk that stuff out. Hit me up on IM.

@Tortwag: My heart goes out to you, you wonderful Shell Master.
Funny. Whenever someone I know experiences some kind of tragedy, a little bit of it hits me too. Must be the empathy I'm cursed with. Or blessed with. The future decides that.

But I'm really glad to have met you Tort. This SB introduced me to a lot of really cool people, and I'm glad you're one of them. You can bet that song is going in the soundtrack list (which I haven't updated in quite a while)

You ever want to just chat, you know where to find me. Actually... not my specific geographic location, but you know... PMs.

...MURDER. I. AM. GOING. TO MURDER THEM. SLOWLY

See, I'm not actually, physically or mentally angry - I'm more appalled than anything else, really - but anyway. I can share things that are on my mind to you guys, huh. Well GET THIS.

Today, Mom and I were preparing ourselves in order to go to Angola - Toulouse/Paris flight, then Paris/Luanda. To see my Father during his funeral and all, as well as say his to his five brothers (well more like 4, as the last one's in Portugal) and the rest of his side of the family. Well it turns out the trip was cancelled because the FREAKING family decided to move the day of the funeral two days early - AKA it's for this Tuesday - which completely screws over anyone who's not there, thus preventing them to reach the funeral in time.

In other words, I am prevented to see my Father one last time because the bunch of arrogant jerks decided to play master troll with Mom and I, one of them - Great-Aunt Eugenia - saying that it's fine, since we're "too French to understand them anyway."

TOO FRENCH?! So when I'm in France, I have to endure looks, remarks and an NUMBER of stupid SHIT because I'm "black" or "too African", and when I go back to my country of origin, I'm "too French" or "too white"? AGAIN? Seriously? Both me and Mom - ESPECIALLY MOM - had to deal with this... This... This inability to feel at home anywhere, and it pursues us EVEN IN OUR OWN FREAKING FAMILIES?! WHAT?!

...They're basically wanting to make this as quick as possible, regardless of who else was planning to come, which include Father's closest brother - the one in Portugal - Mom - Father's WIFE - and ME - his son.

... I need an appropriate Gif for that.



Aaaah... Flawless.


It's fiiiiiiiiiiiine. It's okaaaaaaaaaaay I'll go to Angola anyway. Next year, Mom says, unless something in Life happens. Next year. Next year, I'mma bring flowers and the greatest... thing... Whatever drawing or writing I can create and put on on his grave, it's gonna be the greatest thing ever, and they're gonna tear it apart because of how genius it's gonna be.
Oh also, one of the peope unable to come - like us - expressed how inhumane and purely unforgivable what they did was. Inhumane and unforgivable. Pretty darn good words, methinks. Now. Back to the actual DT, eh?


@Charizard821 We talked, and we're gonna talk again. But seriously, my life is really getting more and more messed up -_-

@Robusto That's definitely emphathy - something I've felt before, so I can relate. Consider it as a gift if it's "every time", though. It means that you're sensitive than most people on Earth. It can be a REALLY good thing.

So am I, you ingenius mastermind, you. (and yeah I've added quite a lot of songs, and so did you, so you should definetely re-read the previous pages to CATCH 'EM ALL - I am not sorry for that reference)

PMs. there's one chat we had via PM that's still on hold anyway, so we'll start with that. As for your specific geographic location, I shall find your house, blow up your door and hug you to your death. You. And every single people involved in your PMD SB.
Seriously though, I am itching for the day we all meet up.

@Buggiedude2340 @StupidSoup Thanks, guys. Also, that name. That... name. Fits your avatar so well... XD

How I wish I was Twinkiel, at this moment. How I wish I could just smile and Enel Impact everyone.

You have no idea how long I've been waiting to use this quote:

You must hold on simply because there is such a thing as letting go

Hopefully I don't sound to sappy or anything.

...Huh. Good one. And no, don't worry, it's not that sappy for me. But don't worry, I've snapped enough times in my life to learn when to avoid doin' it. Twinkiel'll Enel Impact them all in my inner fantasies, and in the meantime, I'll keep on going.

I'm just really shocked that Dad's family would do THAT sort of thing to their relative's very own son and ex-wife, with excuses I only found in... y'know, outsiders. But a few games of Sonic Generations and Super Smash Bros, and I should be back at hundred percent...

@Tortwag: The world's full of jerks (believe me, I have experience with them). Just don't let them change who you are.

@Robusto I believe that last part already happened. But it's not happening again any time soon. Don't worry: we'll go back there ourselves. Hey, I think I have a good quote, too.

Living well is the best revenge.

I'mma do just that. Also, thanks for the support. Always appreciated.

@Robusto your right. There are a lot of jerks in the world

And I'm one of them >:o

SSBM is so great. So....so.....sooo great.....

IsoneedtogetaWiiorsomething

YOU MEAN SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE?! BECAUSE YES, YES IT IS!!
Got it in 2001, still playin' it along with its older bro Smash 64 and its younger bros Brawl and Sm4sh.