zinger1912

Nice message! I loved how you didnt use to much imagery because this gives the reader the opportunity to image on their own. Like, I imaged a standard yellow butterfly ...

This is a first chapter?? Its good as an opening but I wouldn't use its as a chapter...maybe like a prologue?? I liked it!! By the way it's 'I WILL ...

I'm not big on correcting because English isnt my best subject, but shouldnt it be 'You too son'?? I dont know really, but over all a realllly gooood story! :D

I know excatly what you mean, to feel like its your fault that your parents seprated and the amount of pain you bare. But, hey, I guess we'll get over ...

Omg...This is totally flipping AWESOME!! You Used Awesome in almost every sentence and still made it sound cool!! At first I thought this was going to be a I-Feel-Like-Writing-Something-But-I-Really-D

Very emotional!! LOVED IT!! But there were a few mistakes :( But fix those and keep on trucking on :)

This is very good! But I think the sentence I didn't understand why he stared at me like that sure most soldiers were angry at us but this hatred seemed ...