xhalcyonx128

good job at continuing this, but there are a few things you need to clear up. first of all, from ur first few chapters the reader gets the impression that ...

i like this alot, i agree that the title gives it away too quickly, but the wildfire analogy is very effective i disagree that it doesnt sound finished, it sounds ...

im not sure how i feel about this, i like the imagry, but love poems tend to have an air of sappiness, and im afraid this is a tad sappy. ...

this should be longer. i do like the opening with him in the pod or w/e he's in. i'm confused with how he got there though, and whats with the ...

really good job, theres like an uber amount of grammer and puncuation mistakes, but those fix themselves with practice. i'll come back later and point them out for you. :-) ...

well you know my thoughts already. but if you've forgotten, i'll elaborate. i like stephen (or i like him as much as anyone can like a complete jerk) and his ...

Hi :-) I didn't get a chance to read the entire chapter (im in class and its ending) but i'll come back and read/crit more later. Then he realized the ...

i don't have time for a long critique (ill come back later and do that, but i think kitty has this basically covered) but the one thing that stuck out ...

well most everything has been critiqued that needs to be critiqued, but i did catch a few more plot-based things. Having pushed back the weight of her grief, Wendy studied ...

very good :-) i look forward to reading the following chapters one thing tho: He was unaware of his beauty, but not his strength you have a double negative; i ...

i like this the only thing is the first three times you use "empty" they make a nice repetive pattern, but the fourth time you don't need it. just say ...

I'm not entirely sure why you put so many commas and used "I" so many times. it seems unnecessary. From what i gathered, this is about sexual abuse. If so, ...

This is good so far, maybe a few tweeks with line order (for instance it might flow better if you left out "to solemn whispers of" and just made it ...