xavia-finch

OMG I love your short stories. But then again I hate them, because they are short. Post another one!! You should somehow link your short stories together or something and ...

wow i can safely say that this is THE BEST story i have ever read on this site. It was the perfect mix of metaphors, narrative, dialogue and tension. It ...

Chapter One Noel Flincher sat in the back of the classroom, eyes closed. She wasn’t asleep. She wasn’t daydreaming. She was screaming. >>> Is she literally screaming in class? That ...

Thanks, all critiques appreciated: Chapter One: Of a Blind Man Do not empathise; blame me. Nature’s flight is a far memory—in a split second her wings beat against the breeze, ...

I critiqued your prologue but not yet the first or second chapters. Mainly because its late and I just wanted to read the story, which is a good sign!! It ...

To anyone who reads through the whole thing, I thank you. Prologue “I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand your game,” Dala grumbled, digging her talons into the supple wood ...

Yeah... I kind of agree with GriffinKeeper. And there is no point posting your work if you cant take criticism... or "if we don't have good things to say." How ...

I think it is a good story, but that doesn't mean its perfect. Only you know where its going so I cant really tell if its going to be wonderful ...

Okay so this is the first part of my first story that I've ever submitted. I'm still a little new at this so I guess could use all the help ...

She was wading through a sea of clothing, whites, blacks, greys, as all the drab colours of the world sat at her feet. Standing on a tall pile of clothing ...

The angel smiled. They always smiled, and Crawford hated them for it. He especially hated this one. ‘You mustn’t let your sorrow drown you,’ it said. ‘There is forever hope.’ ...

Your grammer is good. That's one thing. But I don't like the skunk idea and it took me a while to get past your rambling. Perhaps cut that back next ...

Chapter Two The Witch Hunter’s Town My suggestions are in bold - Xavia-finch The midnight air was cool and crisp as the Canaby sisters flew high above the clouds. They ...

I totally agree with the other critiquer. can't remember who it was sorry. This is NOT fantasy. THIS IS TRIVIAL GIRLY 12 YEAR OLD TEEN FICTION. Im so disappointed because ...

Chapter Two Barkley was lying on Nicole's bed, sleeping. >> more description here perhaps? snoring quietly...etc Nicole laughed as she watched his legs twitch, like he was chasing something >> ...