VampierKnight wrote:“Hehehehe…good try trying to hold out as you did my little meat puppet but not good enough. Now that I have you…you will start a war start with the country of Germany and make your way till the whole world is yours…..do this if you wish for your soul again…Adolf Hitler….HeHeheheHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
No. Just ... no. It is impossible to take anything seriously if maniacal villainous laughter is involved and I don't think this is meant to be a parody.
I like historical revisionism and hidden histories, but they need to be a) subtle and b) well researched. Hilter was more than capable of going crazy on his own, he didn't need to be threatened or bullied into it. However, that doesn't mean that the Vampires can't take advantage of WWII for their own purposes. Do they want the human population completely decimated, or just too weak to fight back?
Also, research. There was more to WWII than the European theater of war. The Japanese had been fighting in China for years before Germany invaded Austria and Poland. Were the Vampires involved in the annexation of Korea or the Marco-Polo Bridge Incident? Like I said, I enjoy hidden histories but they need to be really well researched in order to be plausible.
Also-also, have you read Bram Stoker's Dracula? If not, do so. It's not fair to use Dracula and Van Helsing if you haven't read their source text. They're a fascinating pair, but they've been watered down and changed around in modern adaptations. (It might also be worth doing at least casual research into Vlad the Impaler and other vampire lore.)
Like xavia-finch said, keep trying. Work in fleshing out character and plot concepts. Research.
... and keep writing.
PS. The [enter] key is your friend. Use it. Paragraphs will make your readers love you more.
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