xalabasteralienx

Chapter 1, Part 2 I screamed. Far-away voices laughed like villains. But they didn’t know I was screaming just as much in pleasure as in pain. Heat and fear hammered ...

The poem was inspired by William Carlos Williams' "The Red Wheelbarrow." Same structure.

I agree with dantheman. The emotion is there. YAY for showing and not telling (something I'm not very good at sometimes :P)!!

I like the idea, but I would like to have seen a bit more character developement (then again, maybe the story is complete in its shortness). The concept is great. ...

12. Recovery One day. I've spent a whole day without Milo. I've stayed in my room, smoking, sad. My tears still streamed down my face. I could barely breathe. It ...

9. Memorizing As I kissed Milo, I bumped my fingers over the flesh, trying to figure out if it really was a scar. Milo must have sensed my concentration, because ...

8. Awkward Silence/Touch It's been three days since my lust for Milo went a little overboard (and I think the same thing happened to him). He still walks me to ...

6. You and Me So far, the school day was going pretty damn well. Milo walked me to first and second period (where I am now) and is probably going ...

5. I Love You--In So Many Words I was leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand, and talking to Milo on the phone. He had gotten in a lot of ...

5. I was leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand, and talking to Milo on the phone. He had gotten in a lot of trouble because he broke Sam's nose. ...

5. I was leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand, and talking to Milo on the phone. He had gotten in a lot of trouble because he broke Sam's nose. ...

Thanks for your opinions and critiqueing! :D

Side note #1: Hero, Maryland, is not a real town. Just thought anyone who checks this story out should know that. :) Side note #2: If anyone has any better ...

4. Beaten I rolled out of bed drowsily. My head and shoulder ached. I left my room and went into the bathroom, going to the sink and downing two Aspirin. ...

2. Making Plans I was pacing in the living room, the phone in front of me, sitting silent on the side table. I kept glancing at it as if it ...