xLogan

Didn't see any grammar problems! Well written, and wow a twist near the ending with NG magazine and the international regulation! Nothing else to say really, I still want to ...

“Come in, your you're getting soaked.” “Well, I’ll let you get to your studying. I am going to the store to grab some things for supper since moms out of ...

Come to us, Valerie, a deep, hypnotic voice reverberated in my head pushing my own thoughts out. We need you, Valerie. Where the character hears the voice you might want ...

Though , when i I was 15 fifteen, I thought they were about to come true. I saw George . , George he was had shiny black hair that went ...

Then, I felt a pit of loneliness in my stomach. When Danielle was adopted, who would I be able to talk to? Dani was the only one who cared, even ...

As I said - I can't really critique poems but it was interesting. I enjoyed reading it. Like others say you could break it into stanzas. Nothing like I ever ...

Her right arm attacks the ball, like a snake striking its prey. Nice! I like this description “C’mon Annie let’s go.” I would put a comma after C'mon and one ...

We will grind their bones into powder!” H e finally exclaimed. Ugh, haha, I always have to tell people this! Okay, in a quote, if it doesn't end with a ...

Nick-picks, “Is anyone there?” M y voice was quiet from the lack of use. If the quote doesn't end with a comma it begins another sentence, so the next word ...

I looked around the room nothing but pure darkness. This sentence needs a comma, or something... and my mother she had died when I was little due to a physiological ...

The last sentence is a bit off, may just be me. Congrats to June, 900th review! The first few lines were off for me also. It's good though, really cute ...

I awoke, panting. I looked around, darkness. There was no moon out tonight. I sighed. Another nightmare to add to the list. Everyday it just gets worse and worse. This ...

Each string told a mystical story Two spaces between each and spring. This really doesn't matter but I felt I needed to point it out. We knew forever in out ...

We passed the time by talking and joking around. We huddled together to try to keep warm, in the cold, fall air. This is just a really minor thing, but ...

Nit-picks, The music from his headphones was loud enough so that she could hear it. Personally, I don't think, "so," sounds right in that sentence. “Oh , great.” “What are ...