I really enjoyed this poem. But i must agree with the two earlier posts. May be because the first 4 lines are so thick and the final 4 are so small and those are actually the best ones. There was a rhyme scheme in the first four.
Line 1: stars
Line 2: tears
Line 3 & 4: i think here is where a reader would get thrown off, i believe you should take off "and the" and leave it guitars and had started Line 4 with "While" and adjust strumming to just strum.
Line 6-8: and simply break off into another stanza or something.
Points: 1356
Reviews: 4
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