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xDudettex

  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Dramatic Re: Old

    Hey Smurf! I haven't been around here for like ever, but when I logged on today I stumbled across this and I'm glad I did. I love Effie's name, and ...

    Sep 7, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Supernatural Re: The Arc: Prologue

    Hey there, wordsandwishes! I don't usually tend to read or write prologues, but I'm glad I clicked on this one. I liked the format. It was different, having it almost ...

    May 31, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Fantasy Re: Sapphires and Emeralds: Prologue

    Hey there, UpandOut! I'm not very good at reviewing prologues but I'll do my best to help. 'Excitedly smiling, he leads me' - This reads awkwardly. Try - 'Smiling excitedly' ...

    May 27, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Teen Fiction Re: Believe Me, I'm Lying

    Hey there, Dreaming! Welcome to YWS! I don't want to repeat anything that's already been said, because Cadi has already given you a great review, so my review is going ...

    May 27, 2012
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Missing

    Hey there, firepen! This is pretty short, even for a short story. It's not really clear what the main plot of this story is. I'm guessing it's that the MC ...

    May 27, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Working Title

    Hey there, thatboy! For a first chapter, not much happened to really hook the readers interest. That being said, the way you set the scene did it for me. Although ...

    May 17, 2012
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Teen Fiction Re: They Have Won

    Hey there, blue! Welcome to YWS! Now, I've read a few stories that follow this theme. Someone who is so desperate to escape something that they end up taking thier ...

    May 15, 2012
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Titleless for now

    Hey there, yubbies! This is rather short, so my review isn't going to be of great length. So first off, I'd strongly recommend that you give this story a title, ...

    May 14, 2012
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Teen Fiction Re: Pieces of Time

    Hey there, cnrobins! Welcome to YWS! This is a pretty dramatic story. A girl finds out her parents aren't really her parents. I think you describe some of the emotions ...

    May 14, 2012
  • Short Story » Realistic, General Re: Their Cigarettes Burn

    Hey there, ahhhsmusch! I really liked this. It was short. Just a little scene where two boy-men, I pictured teenagers ageing around 19 - 21, discussed their days. The structure ...

    May 10, 2012
  • Short Story » Realistic, Dramatic Re: How To Stop Bullying for Dummies

    Hey there Ignorance! I don't have time for a proper review, but I'll give you my overall thoughts. Really, I thought this was going to be a tale of popular ...

    May 10, 2012
  • Short Story » Horror, Supernatural Re: Apple

    Hey there! The whole 'Apple' thing and the dark hair and creepy smile made me think of Snow White, even though the was nothing like it. Weird. Anyway, your grammar ...

    May 4, 2012
  • Short Story » Horror, Mystery / Suspense Re: The Beast Within

    Hey there! Seeing as this is the first piece you've written in a while, I'm going to do my best to give you my thoughts. So, firstly, I think you've ...

    May 1, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Teen Fiction Re: The Realmwalker-Chapter Two

    Hey there, Elo! 'Sheriff Hollister reached over switched on the radio.' - There should be 'and' after 'over' 'a dull growl as the' 'The Sheriff shifted to a growling second ...

    Apr 30, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Teen Fiction Re: The Realmwalker-Chapter One

    Hey there EloquentDragon! You reviewed a piece of my work the other day, so I'd like to return the favour. I'll try my best to give you a helpful review. ...

    Apr 29, 2012


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