wysteria

Man. I loved the alliteration. It worked, which was a surprise. "In time, the quaint strings quiver, Calling them to kill. And creeping close they capture all that isn’t still." ...

In the depths of darkness pulsing, within and yet not apart of; earth, rich and moist... (beautiful! the images are so....so.....good! haha, for lack of a better word. your punctuation ...

rip the veil rip me from my veil I do not want it. (nice. I like how you said 'rip me' instead of ripping the veil.) take the vision of ...

Not sure if this should be lyric poetry or dramatic (or narrative for that matter) but this is my best guess so here goes. Gold So the sky, it was ...

I really enjoyed reading this. your imagery is well-developed, though a little lacking in the description area. I would suggest more of that, like in the beginning of the second ...

not much to say that hasn't already been said, but whatever. =P this is pretty great writing you've got here. the globe description was fantastic! and I love the way ...

i'm going to have to disagree with cadmium and say that you don't need to condense anything. i think the image you were going for was presented perfectly. but that's ...

yes, the image was very good. it sticks. and i like the way you separated the 'who am i, who are you' thing. it was nice and added complexity to ...

The equivalent of an island adrift in a passionate sea: we are the rock of reason sinking into what the senses lack --imagination. (beautiful! the wording and punctuation is perfect, ...