wonderland

Well, you did cliche really well. Your MC is good and strong, and you show us her doubts and her wild side. Yes, there are some mistakes that you can ...

That was really pretty. I have this huge smile on my face. It was a really strong, beautiful poem, which did not end with death. I really felt the emotions, ...

YOu are really good at suspense. I really want to know whats up with Liam, but introducing Cole was a good move. As usual, you spelling and grammar are good, ...

Gutsy, gusty, MC! I love her! Alicia is strong, and smart, and fully non-mary-sue-ish. I also love how she ran away, that was something very non-typical. Your spelling and grammar ...

So, I'm gonna confess, that I have read nearly every Warrior book out there. you're gonna have to work super hard tp make your work original. Your grammar was a ...

It s a good beginning, with a strong, hope-fully non-mary-sue-ish MC, a nice setting and clear characters. Your description is good, except for your first paragraph My alarm went off, ...

Sam blinked through the sea spray. “Captain, it’s gaining!” The note of panic in his voice was genuine as he watched the live bear run towards the back of the ...

There can be no way in the known universe that you are two years younger then me, yet just a better writer. It's true. This is funny, smart, yet clever ...

Dante is such a sweetie-pie! Except for the whole killing thing. That was very, very, very good! I love the way it's written, so the reader feels like they actually ...

So, I found this part more believable. I'm also liking it. I have a small thing for evil characters. I also like your writing style. You have enough description and ...

Phew. For a second I thought I was reading another typical vampire story. Well, anyway your descriptions were very romantic, making the whole setting seem too good to be true. ...

Well, that was pretty awesome! it played with my imagination. it was like threads of magic spinning around me, which was cool. Your flow is pretty, and it adds to ...

Your beginning was spot on! I've always heard that your want your beginning perfect if you want to get published, so that the agents and editors will want to read. ...

You really are telling us, instead of showing us. Give us more detail, more emotion. Without it, your peice will be lonely and empty. Your MC, seems flat and 2d. ...

Hey! Um, so you are missing some commas. Just read back, and find the places where you take natural breaks. I really like your style of writing, though i think ...