wewinwelose

Not entirely sure what this is. Did you post this up here by accident, meaning to be commenting on something else? That "reply" button isn't hard to mix up with ...

It's absolutely amazing how much attention this thread has gotten. Tell someone not to do something that they can't get in trouble for doing and they immediately do it. Wow.

A prose is still supposed to have some form of rhythm. This really doesn't. It' a paragraph.

Thanks everyone, I'm glad most of you liked it :)

Alright, I'm gonna try and help y'all out real quick. This is just the writers interpretation and is up for changing into whatever fits the reader's state of mind: The ...

Thanks for the advice, I'll try to see what I can do about the language. As for the rhyme scheme, this is the scheme I use in more than half ...

I love the revision, I think it flows better and gets the point across in a more organized manner. Great poem, great idea, great job. Don't put yourself down, you're ...

I'm sorry you don't like my poem, but telling me to scrap it is quite a bit too harsh. I don't think you fully understood the point of the poem. ...

Alright, I'm confused, is this a poem or is this a paragraph?

I had a hard time understanding this poem, it may have been your intent, but this poem is extremely choppy. I don't understand much about this poem except that it's ...

Lol of course, you know I already love this poem! My only suggestion would be to flip the last two words to make it "routine unseen" instead. Love ya jake!

I would love to read more! after I got over the fact that they were all animals it was a very nice story.....make sure to message me if you put ...

i thought it was very good.....the sister on sister thing was kind of disturbing and the thought of a god cumming was even more disturbing...

try writing two or three more lines having in the second one something else that ryhmes with gold and then something to conclude it which you dont have in this ...

thiis is great...but you might want to try a thesaurus some times it seemed like you couldnt quite find the right word and you stuck something in there just cause ...