From my point of view it seems like all this seems to all go together. But i don't know maybe you have a different idea thank you for reading. ^.^
The living can't see the light of heaven because we can see the light of the world. The only time we can catch a glimpse is at night when you see the stars or you fall asleep. When you have a good dream you were in heaven. When you had a nightmare you had a taste of hell. When you see the lava from the earth you see the color of hell. When you see the stars you acquired a glimpse of the light from heaven. The only way you can ever see the light forever is if you ever leave the living and join the dead. Then only you will see the true light of heaven and the true fire of hell.
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I do agree it is much more of a Philosofic thought than dramatic poetry. It is overall good though. If you would like to keep it upon this section though maybe putting it into stanzas and subjecting the stanzas to a pattern. In this you jump from heaven to hell to hell to heaven to hell to heaven. maybe do a contrasting or equilibrium set up. By that i mean do i stanzas and form it in the shape of
Hell
Hell
Hell
Heaven
Heaven
Heaven
OR
Hell
Heaven
Hell
Heaven
Hell
Heaven
so that there is contrast upon the mood.
i needed someone to clear it up thx
and yeah ima noob so im getting the hang of it
Naah, I got it! It's an interesting thought, a good theory x)
But maybe it's in the wrong forum, "Dramatic Poetry" this was more of a "Philosofic Thought"
um i guess you can call it a paragraph did i put it in the wrong category.....? >.>
Alright, I'm confused, is this a poem or is this a paragraph?