warionack25

I like this poem, but I must say it has it's issues that could be addressed. First, if you're going to use stanzas, you have to keep the syllable count ...

Lot's of dialogue and action right from the get-go, which isn't too much of a bad thing if done right, but here I'm afraid it's all dumped so fast and ...

I think this is a pretty good poem, syllable count is pretty good, and it makes fair points, but like the previous reviewers I strongly suggest showing the readers, not ...

I think you have something very interesting going on here. I'm liking the atmosphere and the creative way this world is coming out, but I do have a big issue ...

I like your writing style. It's a nice way write a story, akin to poetry in a way. It's reminding me a lot of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty ...