ultraviolet

Thanks for the review. :) The reason I didn't combine them was because that would have gone way over my word limit. But thanks for the thoughts on the doctor ...

Hey, so, I have the revised version up. What d'you guys think?

Hey Sandvich! Okay, so being you're new here, you probably don't realize this but, when posting another chapter, you can just make another post on Read/Write. With a novel, you ...

Hey Sandvich! Okay, so being you're new here, you probably don't realize this but, when posting another chapter, you can just make another post on Read/Write. With a novel, you ...

Thanks for the reviews guys! They're great. :) I'm going to completely rewrite the beginning, and definitely put more of the right details into it. (I wrote this at like ...

Thanks for the reviews! Skins, I fixed all of the grammar mistakes. As for the "All I wanted to do was die," when I was really sick, I felt awful. ...

Since I'm judging I can't really review, but if you post more of this, like meaningless said, I would like to read it.

I took out some of the lines that I felt didn't really follow with the message of the poem. What do you think now?

Better. It's good. Could still use some more descriptions, but it is better. Also, I didn't know that you were making another part before, so that's some of the reason ...

It's better, it gives us more of an idea of what's going on and the urgentness of the situation. Still, I think you could expand on this more. It still ...

Thanks for the reviews! After thinking about it, I'm going to rewrite the non-dream part, and I think that that will clarify some things.

Sarg, are you saying that I should make the dream sequence shorter, or that I should make the rest longer? I'm rewriting as I speak, but I was wondering which ...

Thanks for the reviews guys. I see how it's not good, now. I'm going to fix it. Sarg- as for it being a dream, I can't really help that. It's ...

Is this better?

You're right. I meant for this to be thought of as a wedding scene, and not until the last paragraph or two tell you it's a funeral, and that Marley ...