transendence1

There's a few punctuation errors and grammatical errors, but for the most part it is decently written. The only problem I had with the story is the content itself. I ...

I liked how you used your dialogue here, and I liked the flow it created. I have to disagree with priceless on the show and don't tell stuff, I don't ...

I like the flow of consciousness you employ in the piece. It gives us an inside track to this persons psychosis, and by person, am I wrong to think this ...

I'm really impressed if this is one of your first attempts at serious writing. I think you have a natural ability for descriptive language, and your use and command of ...

I think the theme here is obvious, and it's highly religious. That's perfectly fine, and I think you do a good job with some of your descriptions. You can tell ...

I think you are at a spot where many young writers have been before. Your work is very transparent and you can see your emotion and feeling directly in your ...

I digged it man. It was pretty good, but I think like everyone, the work isn't very serious. It's a good piece, but I just don't know how serious we ...

i just really find your descriptions to be great. I like how you work sensory details into every corner of the piece. I, however did not so much like your ...

It was a fun little story to read. I'm not really sure what I should take away from the story.......maybe it is simply that dancing is fun and I can ...

It was a decent piece that certainly had shock value. I liked how disturbing it was, but I don't think the protagonist would just become a cannibal. That's a little ...

I think you should keep writing, but my advice to you is not to make the plot tension so dramatic. You don't have to do something like you do at ...