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Re: ...
I don't think it's possible to critique five words, but I have to say, I LOVE this and I don't think you should lengthen it because that would totally defeat ...
Jul 19, 2008 -
Re: Target
Awwww, that's so cute! I love that idea. Couple small points: I manage to catch only a fleeting glimpse of my target before the blindfold is pulled over my eyes ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: A Clean Bite--Chapter 1 part 1 [rewrite]
You've got a good start. You've got interesting characters and a lot of conflict. I'd work on punctuation, though. I'm critiquing as I read, so I might bring up some ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Removed
Resurrecting an old thread. Kelnor had first seen them while he was perched on a hill overlooking the meadow below. Was Kelnor daydreaming? Looking out for danger? Watching bunnies frolic? ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: live like you were dying
I love the title! I really like your premise, I just think it'd be a much stronger story if you fleshed it out more. I looked blankly at the medical ...
May 10, 2008
