timjim77

thier: their

Thanks for reminding me of this. I've completely redone it, and if I record it I'll post a link. Keep critiquing.

Some edits made.

Simply beautiful.

I like 'beer'. The non-haiku poem is wonderful. I love "wind wind wind to the summit" and "obscene bandages". The powerful brevity of the poem gives it immense appeal. Wonderful ...

Poems about poetry or writing poetry are often called Ars Poetica. Too much counting to justify reading all the counting. The repetition of the lines may be too clever for ...

WARNING: DO NOT LENGTHEN THIS POEM. Spontaneity is key here. The poem's length is perfect.

Poems should not be billboards. Don't capitalize everything. I have a suggestion that may sound strange. Rewrite this poem in two ways. Make it in the third person, and do ...

Absolutely stunning. Completely encapsulated an experience and its effect into a brief but delightful poem. Thank you.

Wow. I love how you have combined what seems to be your world view, your religion, and your poetic sense all into one. Truly, an exquisite insight. Perhaps the colon ...

Capitalize Greyhound. Sandwich kind of seems vulgar as a verb here. Other than those minutiae, wonderful. You have described a peculiar feeling with clarity, while keeping the fogginess of it ...

Thanks for your advice. I see your point about the rhythm, and I suppose that's the problem with posting lyrics, as muh of the song informs the rhythm, and si ...

Well, actually, it does make sense, perhaps not to you. The poem is written about, among other things, Holy Communion as celebrated in the Catholic Church. One of the ways ...

Incredible. One of your most beautiful.

While you may nto have been aiming for this (i doubt you were), this strikes somewhat of eighth century Chinese poetry. A little more imagery woulod fill it out. And ...