tigershark17

Hi! My corrections are in green, original in red. Let's get started! (: Instead of starting out by telling us that Anna is awoken just at the good part in ...

"Everything" is spelled wrong in the first line. "When silence is the sound of the world" I love this line! "Everything felt better at night" You jump suddenly into past ...

(Mother always considered me to be a child. Even as I passed my seventeenth year, she considered me five. It was quite annoying. I was a much more adept witch, ...

Prologues don't normall have titles, so I'm not sure what's going on with the "I still mean every word" bit. Also, electrifying seems a bit out of place. Try using ...

Well, it is very short for a proplogue. If that is all you plan on having, might I suggest using it as the beginning of your first chapter instead? However, ...

I read your title and immediately started grinning. More detail on the "ridiculously pretty cashier." Don't just leave us hanging! Describe her hair, eyes, mouth, body. What is it that ...

wow, okay, a lot of great detail, but don't go overboard. Lighten up on the adjectives just a bit. Vary your sentence lengths: they are all very lllooooonng. Your "new ...

Alright, let's see here. Good start, I like how this fits in very well with your first chapter (I read that before the prologue). However, the birth is very fast; ...

Wow, this is great! Your vivid descriptions really make a reader feel the story. I could almost hear the plates smashing and the bellowing voice of Ronnie's dad echoing through ...

Excellent idea for a story! It sounds like it will be very good. I could already sympathize with Kat as she told the lady at school she couldn't read. The ...