User avatar

thewonderworldofnight

  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Gink

    Okay, I like this world you've created. It's very... dark , very black. But there are some things which are bothering me. Your character, Gink, thinks details. No one really ...

    Nov 5, 2007
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: A small excerpt!

    I really like your idea and what you've written so far. It's catchy, it keeps your audience reading. now for some critiquing. what happened with Tristan and Elizabeth? You can ...

    Nov 4, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Titanic Romance

    So pick up a paint brush and create my mural. This seems kind of random; you go from "you never see me" to "pick up a paintbrush". Maybe a little ...

    Oct 28, 2007
  • Other » General, General Re: My Superhero...Lovevol

    aww, Lovevol is adorable :-) I definitely agree with Adam_Atlantian, you should write stories about him. Mayhap, if you can draw cartoons (which I can't, so if you can I ...

    Oct 28, 2007
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Among the Lost

    Okay, this probably sounds cliche, but I hear your voice in this and it's really good. I also really like your metaphors. Now to the crticism. What is this about? ...

    Oct 28, 2007
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Mortal Death, Immortal love

    Okay, this is sad in a really good, cute way! If I were you, I'd definitely write more about this! Also, a few things: --Is Alexial a real goddess/immortal or ...

    Oct 28, 2007
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: A Wrinkle in Time

    Hmmm...I tried reading it a few years back, but maybe I just wasn't ready for it...maybe I'll try it again ;-) Isn't it sad when such good writers die in ...

    Oct 28, 2007
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: What's the weirdest book you've ever read?

    The weirdest book I've read (and it's and oldie) was the Canterbury Tales. Just weird... Yeah, I'd have to agree with you there...especially the tale of the Wife of Bath ...

    Oct 28, 2007
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Blood on Snow

    that was really good!!! it was confusing at the beginning. Perhaps you could write more of the scenery, as it wasn't obvious as to where they were. Also, I'm kind ...

    Oct 28, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Beautifully Evil #1

    Okay, so now i've read your first chapter... a few critiques: 1) the dialogue seems unnatural. Maybe it's just me, but it goes from formal dialogue to slang too quickly ...

    Oct 27, 2007
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Untitled

    wow...i really liked that, though it was kinda angsty. if you want to title it, perhaps "a lonely lover" (like how Shakespeare didn't title his poems so they just gained ...

    Oct 26, 2007
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: HP 7 fanfic

    Considering that Hermione and Ron were never really together as a couple except for a short time in this fanfic and Harry and Ginny only really spoke once before getting ...

    Jul 28, 2007
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: The Pain of losing you

    Your descriptions and colors are great, but does this really belong in fanfiction? If it does, what is it from? It's really good anyway...if it's not really a fanfic, maybe ...

    Jul 26, 2007
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Harry Potter and the Alternate Ending

    Personally, I think it's better without the epilogue at the end; the epilogue just waters out a really powerful peace. I loved it, but I figure you'll want some criticism ...

    Jul 24, 2007
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Lord of the Flies

    It's a classic...you won't be able to live without it!!! People will make references to it forever and if you haven't read it you'll feel extremely lost! It's not my ...

    Jul 23, 2007


Don't gobblefunk around with words.
— Roald Dahl