theotherone

Hello there. :) I'm not going to do nitpicking on this, since Thien already did most of it. Plot wise, it missing something. It's way too short and we need ...

Hello there. :) I don't pretend I’m not still holding onto the memory of you. The phrasing was off in this sentence... I'm not sure how to rephrase it though. ...

Hello there. :) I won't do anything that's concerning grammar since Truth and Thien already did most of it. I would only be repeating and that wouldn't help, would it? ...

Hello there. :) Wow, this story was good. There's just enough romance with a hint of reality. There isn't much of development in the guy's character, but I don't think ...

Hello there. :) her vibrant red hair laid straight across her shoulders and her crystal clear blue eyes shined in the hallway lights. Straightly isn't a word... I think. ;) ...

Hello there. :) Like Penguin said before, your rhyming is inconsistent.You do for the first two stanzas and then you don't. I know you said you like rhymes that aren't ...

Hello there. :) It's quiet a chapter you've got here. It seems like a good introduction. Is it going to change perspective from chapter to chapter? Or it's going to ...

Hello there. :) The woman was short and thin with brown curls framing her face. She wore a bright red coat, greatly contrasting the dark black of her partner’s. He ...

Hello there. :) I'm not going to do tons of nitpicking since people before me already did the most of it. “Morning, lovely. What are you drawing?” he shrugged off ...

Hello there. :) like she was looking for someone and did not find them. I think this flows better. “I’m dreaming, and I can’t wake up. This is the only ...

Hello there. :) Really good poem. :) Sorry for not meeting you on point; I always did meet you halfway. These lines are my favorite. I don't think I found ...

Hello there. :) For younger knights and sergeants such as Godfrey comma gazing out over the barren desert was enough to terrify them. As he rode on comma his stream ...

Hello there. :) I'll start with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression of your story. When she did comma her heart started to race and she ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin my review with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression. You put black roses there for me, the same kind you always ...

Hello, I'm here again for one last review! It was a relief when the doors opened and the scarf became looser around my neck. It's still first person POV. I ...